Two years on

I’m in no mans land , the space between what was and what will be .I’m not comfortable here I’m like a bird breathing underwater, this is an alien place .I can’t stay here, it’s too strange and unreal and I’m not happy here although I can still enjoy beautiful skies and friendships .The world is different but oddly the same ,a dimension is missing ,Ron is missing from me a part of me gone , it’s like it was last month but it’s been two years this November he had a sudden heart attack and I was there with him ,he was 72 and It wasn’t that bad for him , but I’m still in shock somewhere inside and I’m like a snail slowly making its way across a wilderness .I don’t know how I’ve survived, I’m alive because I cannot die, I’m here because I can’t escape ,I can’t go back ,only in memory so I must continue. I wonder how long it will take to accept my new reality and be comfortable in it . My hope is in You God .


Hi Sue your words ring true for me it’s been over 2 years for me and I still feel like a alien in a foreign country. Just trying to get through each day and in to the next but not shore just y I won’t to go to the next day may be in the hope it will be better, the loneliness can be to mutch its so difficult to find just were you belong anymore. People thing you can just move on but that’s not the case we ant the same we are not divorce are separated we haven’t split with them this wasn’t our choice. We would still be living that life if we can’t this is the hardest thing out I have no answer I just no I feel the same way sending you hugs and

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Oh my goodness Sue I feel exactly the same and you could have written those words for me. I am now 3 years on and try so hard to find some reason for what happened to my kind and caring husband Pete who had cancer. Life seems unreal now and I wish I could find an answer. My thoughts are with you and you are not alone. Love Jenny


I know it’s tough. Three years for me and white one never stops missing ones partner it does get easier. I speak to him every day sometimes throughout the day. I think oddly I miss him more as time goes on but it isn’t so painful. I no longer have that heavy weight in my heart. But it is lonely and I don’t like living on my own . I hope you are able to move forward and you can take him with you

Hi Sue3. It will be 2 years for me in February. We were told three weeks before that my husband was terminal (heart failure compounded by lung issues) and he came home from hospital although we didn’t know how long we had. He died suddenly mid telephone conversation, right in front of me. It was horrific, though I suppose it was best for him. I am where you are, in an alternate reality from which there’s no escape. I get up, I go to work, I do the shopping but it’s like I’m living someone else’s life. I seem calm from the outside, but inside I’m screaming like a lunatic! This grief thing is truly a form of madness. I’m looking into group counselling as I think that may help. Well, I’m hopeful anyway.