I lost my sister 2 years, ago yesterday. You’d think it would be getting easier and in some ways it is. I no longer cry every day. I no longer feel utterly sick every morning and yet I’m still stuck in that room that day as I saw my sister die a bloody awfull death from brain and bowel cancer. She was 50 and from diagnosis to death took less than 16 weeks.
She left a, daughter and a husband. I no longer have contact with her husband he moved on pretty fast was, dating again in less than 6 months, holidaying with his, new woman. I just couldn’t get my head round that. To be blunt me and him weren’t that friendly before all this now I no longer need to make an effort to be nice I don’t bother we’ve no contact. I’ve tried to keep in touch with my neice but again this has dwindled I guess I’m just an old boring auntie.
I know I need to crack on remember my sister fondly and get on with life but I’m constantly reliveing it all and feeling angry, angry at my brother in law but I won’t go into why. Yesterday was a awfull day. I’ve decided you need to cut ties with toxic people even if those people are family. There not bad people just different and all we have in common is loss. For my own sanity I need to cut them out.
Dear @Paula51
Grief is a rollercoaster of emotions and there is no timescale as to grieving. For some ‘moving on’ could be companionship especially if your your brother in law had been with your sister for a long time. Everyone re-acts differently as to the loss of a loved one.
Have your considered counselling to help you with your emotions or talking to your GP for support?
Sue Ryder offer a free Counselling service which may be of help to you and have helpful support information on Coping with Grief and Bereavement .
Cruse Bereavement offer support groups through their local services. This would be worth having a look at.
Take one day at a time and please continue to reach out here. We are all here for you.
Take care.
Pepsi
He’d been with her 23 years. He got shut of everything, her clothes, car, dog she loved, and then reinvented himself with a flash sports car, clothes, didcthe house up, got shut of the business he run, got his new woman all in less than 3 months from her passing and all on her death benefit money. It stinks. He’d no thought for her, my parents, nothing in fact she wasn’t even cold on her death bed and he was on the phone to her work telling them they’d need to crack on with the death in service payout.
I can’t stand him.
I’ve had a little bit of councilling via sue ryder in past but it won’t stop my fealing of loathing towards him.
Plus it’s not companionship she’s in the bed his wife passed away in.
As the weeks gone on I feel more positive. I’ve decided to move the photo I had of my sister and me out of direct eye shot, I’d see it constantly through the day and it would trigger. I’ve not put it away but moved it to another less frequented room. It doesn’t mean Ive forgotten my sister.
I’m also going to really try to stop the thought process of thinking of her, then thinking of her husband and that leading me to anger and upset. I need to think of her and remember our childhood, our tea age years the good, stuff. If I let him creap into those memories then my thoughts go to all the crap I don’t want to think of. It’s going to be hard, I’ve done it for 2 years but I’m sure I can alter my thought process.