Ulysses poem by Alfred lord Tennyson

Today i attended my daughter in law’s sister’s funeral ,she was only 51 and left 2 teenage sons and husband she had been ill for 4 years with non curable cancer
3 weeks ago i lost my own wife of 50 years she also had non curable cancer and had been ill with this for 2 years
Both families passed in the corridors of the same hospice they were in at the same time over Christmas Both funerals 3 weeks apart were held in the same church as you can guess many of the mourners were related to both families, the ripple effect was enormous
But, both of these ladies had a common thread they shared their issues with one another and were positive on how to cope with their very tough lot its not easy to be told you are at end of life but do not know when.
Why do i tell this tragic family story?
Ive realised that i am still alive and need to find the strength to grieve whilst coping with the now different future
Religion is helping me with great support from my minister and the rest of the congregation. I am attending Maggies maybe you dont have one of these but shared face to face conversation with strangers who have their own needs are helping me find inner strength because thats where healing starts and like all difficulties it takes time
These words from a poem are helping describe how i am and WHAT to expect during the grieving process
They may help

Tho much is taken much abides and tho we are not now that strength which in old days moved heaven and earth that which we are we are one equal temper of heroic hearts made weak by time and fate but strong in will to strive,to find and not to yield
Yes I’m bowed but I’m not broken


I’m very sorry for the loss of your wife, and also of your daughter-in-law’s sister - it must have been hard to attend another family funeral so soon after losing your wife. Thanks for taking the time to share what has helped you, and that very moving poem.

You might also find it helpful to have a look at the Losing a Partner section of this Online Community, to read and maybe reply to some of the recent posts from others who have lost their wife, husband or partner.

I am so sorry for your loss, this is a very difficult time for you.

You sound a positive person, and I hope you will continue to find strength through your Religion.

The need to grieve is powerful, l and for me it comes in waves. One day I feel strong and the next I am very weak and just need to cry.

Life is very different since my husband of 50 years passed in November 2017, I was so happy and contented with the life we shared, we did everything together.

I am taking little steps each day and I hope you will be able to do the same.

Take care of yourself, its so important.

Thinking of you and sending you a big hug………

9months on from losing my hubby and I’m still grieving, just when you think things are getting better, whoosh it hits you again, and you feel your back to square one, I now know it’s one day at a time and will be for quite a while.

Back to top