emphasized textI need help,I am in a dark place,my wife suffered a horrendous 7 weeks in hospital ,was then moved to a hospice where she passed away 4 days later.I am destroyed.
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Mickeyboy31 I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I think I understand a bit, as your story is similar to mine. My husband was seven weeks in hospital after an accident, then 3 days in the hospice before he died. It may help for you to know that so many on this site have stories like ours. I felt really distraught to begin with but gradually through help from friends and others I am slowly managing to hang on to my sanity. Do you have anyone close to you that you can talk to? It is so necessary to talk it through with someone. Keep talking on this forum. Don’t hold back the tears.
best wishes
Tricia
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Thank you Tricia for your kind words.Yes I have people to talk to about my dear wife who can share their memories of her with me.This empty feeling is so hard to bear.I always thought she would be there with me and then suddenly she was gone.
I imagine that like me you feel there is a bleak empty future. You will find that friends and family are very supportive for the first few months. Then they think you’ve 'recovered ’ . Of course the pain goes on, but only those who have had a similar experience can understand. Keep posting on here for full support.
Feeling for you.
Tricia
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I am 76 ,had a decent life,my wife was a young 75 until the cancer got her and covid prevented her from getting diagnosed early until it was stage 4.At the moment I cannot face life without her,she was my everything,constantly there with me.I have a step daughter and family but they have their own lives .I cannot play music anymore ,have no interest in her garden,I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
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I can well understand your not being interested in the garden. That was my reaction exactly and now I have a gardener once a fortnight to keep the place looking half decent. I’m a very keen plants person usually. We have something in common, as I have 4 step children, all with their own families. They are very kind but are wrapped up in their own families and all live far away. My husband died on 25th November 2020. I cry every day a little but not all the time. I have many friends but that does not help the grief . I think it’s a black tunnel we have to travel through. Keep communicating and expressing your feeling to the group it helps. Bobmajor aka Tricia
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I have her funeral to cope with on 15th October ,going to see my beloved though on Monday to say final good bye.
Hello
I am so sorry for your terrible loss
I know right now you are in a sad place and it doesn’t matter what anybody say
It’s so hard to get on with your life
what is the point of life without them !
When your body is ready
It will get easier
You will never be the same though
To love someone that much I have to be honest a part of you has died with them
I loss my husband 3 years ago after 25 wonderful years together
I go to work !
I have hobbies !
I even laugh !!
But I also have very dark days when I wish I had died too
I have learnt to cope with those times even after 3 years
I do find try and keep yourself busy do new things if you can
But it is only when you feel you are ready
Sending my love
Xx
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Thank you so much for your kind words.It will be only 2 weeks on Monday that I lost my beautiful wife of 32 years to that monster bladder cancer.She suffered so much ,the pain was unbearable at times ,I know she is free of all that now but my World is shattered without her.I find it hard to eat and sleep,even the the sleeping pills the Doctor gave me are not working .I just cannot see any kind of bright future for me.With winter coming as well I am in a bad place, Michael.
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Hello
It’s so hard we all understand
You are angry such an horrible way to die but as you said your wife is in no pain now
You are
You want to go back to your doctors and talk to them tell how you are feeling and that you can’t sleep
They might be able to suggest some counselling for you
I went a couple of times I didn’t think it helped me but my sister seemed to think it did
You are hurting so much
You haven’t gone through the stages of grieve yet
But try and keep talking
Cry when you need to
Just take each day as it comes
Sending my love
Xx
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Thank you so much for the kind words.I am crying all the time and I get angry .I have been to Doctors and they gave me some sleeping pills which I asked for .
Lots of kind thoughts going to you for your final visit tomorrow.
It can only get better but it needs time.
I had some counselling which was helpful as I was able to talk to someone and you too will be able to pour out all your regrets, anger and hurt.
Have courage! Thinking of you.
Tricia
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Thank you Tricia,I hope to see a beautiful pain free face of my beloved wife tomorrow.To see her for the last time will be so hard to bear though.My heart is breaking already.