Unable to cope with wife's death

Two months yesterday since I lost my loving wife Balbir, times just slipped past quickly.
The days are lighting up but she passed away in the dark early morning of November 29th peacefully at 5am in morning.
Balbir hated the dark winter months but somehow, somewhere I will meet up with her again and our love will once again be unified in the afterlife.
Miss you so MUCH, you’ve left a void bigger then a black hole in my heart.
Always think and speak of you daily but I know well meet again, as Vera Linn recited in the song I use to sing whilst in bed next to you.


Hi Ravinder,I hope things are improving at home for you and you are getting some
Comfort these days.our hearts are breaking yet some how we are surviving this nightmare.I cannot believe it is nearly four months since my john passed away I thought is was three, I’m not really counting the days as It just reminds me of of the future ahead without him.I am crying a lot less now but I am feeling rather strange but can’t explain it,its a bit like the space around me is so big and I am so small mate its a lost feeling it’s so weird.keep strong Ravinder and take care

Sorry typing error,it’s suppose to say maybe

Skylark thanks for you reply the kids are still pretty much in the same frame of mind, not talkative, silent and generally sitting in different rooms.
Not communicating with me as they would normally have if Bal was here, seems to be a break down somewhere.
Yes I’m feeling lost and upset daily without the love of my life, distressing to find my household turned upside/down.
Silent, silence prevails everyday seems where missing her presence, just being here was enough, seeing her, laughing and chatting to her filled the air with goodness.
Now it’s horrible errie and unreal without the normality which once filled our lives.

I still cry from time to time but in my own lonely way, not in front of my siblings.
Now February and it would have been 24years since we initially met on Valentine’s day, which I shall still remember her by and always forever.
The pain isn’t getting easier it seems to continue in small doses of torment more distressing then previously, more hurtful as the days pass.
Hope that you may find comfort soon which I cannot as yet.

Hello Ravinder
Your latest post really describes perfectly how sad it feels not to have the “goodness” in your life that Balbir brought to your relationship. I feel the same about my Husband. The pain is not diminishing for me either, even after 16 weeks. Like you I miss the simplicity of us just being in each others company, just doing nothing. It hurts, it hurts a lot Ravinder I know. I wish I had something to say that is positive but I do know completely what you mean.
Please take care and warmest regards.

Hello Ravinder,
You feel as you do because you loved your wife so much.The pain will lessen gradually. You will always feel the loss, but the happy memories will remain. All of us here have suffered loss, some like myself more than once, but, rest assured, our thoughts are with you.

Hello Ravinder,
You feel as you do because you loved your wife so much.The pain will lessen gradually. You will always feel the loss, but the happy memories will remain. All of us here have suffered loss, some like myself more than once, but, rest assured, our thoughts are with you.

Hi Ravinder
I am very sorry for your recent loss. I lost my wife in May last year and whilst the sorrow is easier to cope with now, I miss her every minute of every day and I too take comfort in the fact that one day I will be reunited with her. Your wife is and always will be with you in spirit and in your heart. Take care my friend. Jay

Thank you Malcolm I appreciate your sentiments but today I suffered badly from panic attacks, my heart was thudding/pounding I could hear it, chest felt as though a ton of lead was dropped on it.
Been lying down for a few hours having taken several steroids to calm me down.
I can’t manage without her presence in the house, miss seeking her advice, a joke , her laughter etc.
Even though I’ve got three teenagers the understanding between us at this difficult time us not shared in grief nor any support for myself, I’m really all alone.
No communication sometimes between us just a walk of silence.
I wish I could end it all and join my wife soon.
Like others on this site,no visits from family or friends, even a phone call.
Amazing how everyone distances themselves from such individuals whose lives have been changed.
Hope my time comes quickly because no one will miss me.

Hi Ravinder, I can see that you are having a dreadful time. It’s very hard having to cope with your teenagers as well, because you probably feel responsibility for their wellbeing too. It is such a lonely experience, even when I am with people I still feel alone. I think one of the men on this site mentioned that he calls the Samaritans - maybe you could try that if you are feeling very desperate - I believe they are very good and you can say anything to them and it’s completely anonymous and confidential. I think he also said that Cruse are excellent. Remember we’re all with each other here, even though we don’t know each other. Moz

Believe me, Ravinder, you are not the only one who has wished to end it all. When my first wife died, I was left with two teenage children and virtually no support. I remember beating the wall with my fists in sheer agony, but I had to go on for my children, and so must you. They need you. In desperation , I contacted a local group, and they sent a counsellor, who gently and sympathetically, got me through the worst. Maybe you should do the same.
Trust me, it does get better, but it takes a long time to be reasonably normal again. You must take your doctor’s advice, but I myself don’t think that pills are the answer to grief. Later on, I met the lady who was to become my partner, gentle, generous and sympathetic, and we had twenty happy years until five weeks ago, when here I am again. There are many in this group who know how you feel, and are with you.

Hi Malcolm
Sorry to read of your loss the second time around after 20 years together.I had 41 happy years 39 married to my soul mate who passed nearly 4 months ago from a sudden heart attack.Like everyone on here I can truly sympathise with all the emotional turmoil that we are going through.In all our years together we always said that whoever should go first then the other person should they meet someone else then we would give that person the blessing.I know that you cannot replace that person but i think our partners would like us to be as happy as possible
Heather my wife was a great believer in the afterlife and reincarnation reading several books on the subject.I find some comfort in this and have gone to a spiritual healer for counselling .He is a clairvoyant and took the funeral service.Best wishes Steve