I lost my dad 4 weeks ago and i cant cope. Im 50 years old and am very close to my mum and dad and have lived with them for the last 6 years. His death was sudden and unexpected and my mum nor i want to go on without him
Hi there, I lost Helen, my wife, 4 months ago and to be honest I don’t know whether how I am living today is coping or not. For the first 8 weeks or so I cried everyday for minutes on end with no warning, now I still cry practically everyday but somewhat less so - not because I care less, perhaps because I see better how my grief fits into the life we had.
I still feel that I do not want to go on without Helen but it is not in my choice and what I try to do now (and forgive me, this is a very clumsy way of putting it) is to be a witness to the lovely person she was. Whilst I might talk about her and what she did, I try more to be the better person she was. Helen would be the first to say she was not a saint but if say I get anywhere near her generosity of spirit or action then that is her living on in this life.
You are not alone in this and perhaps some counselling may help, there will be others who may message and try Priscilla for some practical advice.
Take good care of yourselves, Alan.
Hi Julieg im very sorry for you loss (im 57 my wife was 41) take it day by day .This might be too early but when you decide to sort out his clothes etc talk to your mum first im speaking from experience here can cause great rage if not done right .Yes support your mum but also look after yourself ,Try get some me time because the nightmare will still be there when you return to reality .I and others dont mind private messages I would suggest you see you gp re medication (im on medication .Ihope ive helped i dont mean to offend .Dont be a stranger and theres no such thing as ranting on here in my opinion Friendship[ hug Colin
Thank you for thw replies. Im back at work but i keep crying. I was seeing a guy for about 4 months before my dad passed away he was great for about 5 days then said i need to get over it coz the world is still turning! I feel like people are losing patience with me. In reply to one of the above conments i dont see us ever being able to get rid of his clothes
Hi julieg im the same re my ex wifes clothes (the situation i was on about was me and my mum when my dad died ) The world turns for people with happy lives .For people howve lost loved ones it stops and life throws up difficult things sometimes when you dont expect it .On here we wont lose patience with you weve all lost loved ones recent or otherwise ,Thje phrase there nowt as queer as folk definitely applies when trying to talk to happy people about your loss Colin
Thank you for that
Im sorry about your wife. Im finding it so hard to accept he went out at 5.15 to deliver some xmas cards and apparently the emergency services were called at 5.45 saying there was a man not breathing at the wheel of his car they got there within 4 mins but it was too late. I can’t bear the thought of him dying alone. Sometimes i think its all a bad dream then i realise its not. Im 50 and i was still daddys girl. The thought of never seeing him again kills me
Hi juieg thankyou for that .My wife died 04032016 i still have days where i cant believe it and sometimes i think shes going to walk through the door