Not good today
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I read so many stories on here and the WayUp forum and take in all the different circumstances of each loss,the worries and problems over and above the absolutely devastating pain of loss and wonder how any of us cope.
Your sad story about how you lost your husband is yet another tragic story and I do sympathise with you and to a great extent share your pain for the thing that we have in common,the loss of our loved one.
I keep thinking that after sixteen weeks in the tears should have stopped, the pain reduced and a more normal life just starting. How wrong I am.
This morning I did my usual thing, up early, shower and shave, prepare a flask of coffee and head off to our favourite place for starting my walk. During my walk I see so many happy people and while I donât resent what they have it does make me ask why ? why my Jacky ? she never hurt anyone,she spent years providing free bereavement counselling during our years in Spain,everyone wanted to be her friend but thatâs the person she was.
I feel sad that you were denied so many things because of an accident,to me that must surely be the most brutal way to lose someone and leaves you with probably more what ifâs than most.
My heart goes out to you but I have no answers to help your pain,your loss, sadly.
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I certainly identify with looking at couples out and about thinking âyou have no idea how lucky you are, treasure every moment.â
Week ends are worse. When youâre at your worst you have to fill in forms and find certificates just to keep the money coming in.
I do feel pretty bad today and am frightened of bringing my children down with me.
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Thank you so much for those words Miker. I have so many questions and as yet nobody, not even his so called friends who were on bikes behind him or the police have attempted to answer them. I donât know if he blacked out, had heart attack, if it was the bikes fault or anything and although I know it wonât give me alot of comfort when/if I do knowâŚâŚat least I would know. My imagination is worse than any truth. All I do know is he left me after nearly 30 years of marriage in the blink of an eye. Just like that gone forever. And how is a person meant to try and make any ânewâ life for themselves when they donât know what on earth happened to their old life. Itâs utter pergoatory to be completely honest.x
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Yes iv just been on holiday to Turkey to one of our favourite resorts and everywhere I looked there were couples. It made me incredibly sad, not jealous but sad and completely bewildered that my husband who everyone adored-he had over 300 people at his funeral 2 months or so ago-could be taken so suddenly and extremely violently. I am quite bewildered by it all and probably still in shock.x
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@Gypsy1 I just canât even begin to know what it must have been like for you to loose your husband so suddenly. My husband was diagnosed and died within 7 weeks and although it felt quick to me I will be forever grateful for that time. Sending you a big hug and hope your day hasnât been too bad. At least weâve all got through another day. J x
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Thank you so much.x
How are you today Janet 47 today? Dreading tomorrow I should imagine. Big hugs.x
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Having a teary time. Those of you that have read mt other posts will know my husband was a bulk buyer. This makes disposing if his stuff harder as there is so much. I opened another drawer today and found 4 bottles of different sorts of unopened packaged aftershave and 6 bottles of perfume. Also about 10 set of cuff links of non precious metals. Have donated them to a charities tombola stall. It just extends the agony of getting rid of his stuff so that I can move the things I need to places I can reach. Also heard from crematorium that the ground is now in a fit state that his ashes can be interred in the woodland walk. On top of all that I have to go to the dentist tomorrow for the first time since he died. Been better lately but teary today. Xx. Sandra
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Thank you for thinking of me Gypsy.
I am dreading it but it has to be faced.
I hope youâre having a good day today. I return your hugs!
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Thank you. Iâm finally picking up my handsome husband who was my best friend ashes today. I have no idea how Iâm going to react but I want him home.x
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Thinking of you every minute today. I am picking up my husbands ashes today as I need him home. So we both have very emotional and difficult times today but we can both do it and think of each other through the anguish. Massive hugs. Xx
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How did you get on at dentist? I went 6 weeks after my husband suddenly died and I was distraught. Cried my way through half of the cleaning process and they had to stop as the pain was so bad-apparently due to malnutrition as iv lost 3 stone. The poor hygienist was so lovely with me. Hope you got on ok.x
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@Gypsy1 Yes a difficult day picking up the ashes but as ridiculous as it may sound to some people I felt like I was bringing him home! And home is where heâs staying! Much love. J x
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All ok. Usual not brushing well enough. Clear for another year. Thanks for asking.
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Well iv collected him and yes I do feel like I have brought a little of him home and I feel quite calm and serene tbh. I donât know how long it will last but il take anything other than anguish and bewilderment at the moment.x
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I have just heard that my husbands ashes have been interred today. His funeral was 27th June. I decided to have his ashes interred in the woodland walk at the crematorium as I would never be able to visit I wanted him somewhere beautiful. They make a note of the spot and up to 3 sets of ashes can the be interred there. The ground has been too hard until now. It makes me happy and very sad at the same time.
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Absolutely well done to get the ashes where you want them.
My husbandâs funeral was beautiful and at the moment I have all my children and grandchildren with me but I dread the day after tomorrow. Thank you everyone, itâs the only place I feel people actually understand whatâs itâs like. X
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@Janet47 Well done for getting through today, another hurdle crossed. I think in a funny sort of way funerals are quite nice, being surrounded by family and friends. My husband would have loved his! It can be quite difficult afterwards though so be prepared! Itâs like the last few weeks are all about gearing up for that day and then the realisation that this is your life from now on really hits. I am lucky that Iâve got a great family that live close and they make sure Iâm ok but itâs still very lonely living on your own. This site has been a great comfort for me because I feel like people understand. Much love to you. J x
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