I lost my husband in January very very suddenly ,it 6 months now and i still can’t get my head around it. It doesn’t help that i don’t have a definite cause and he was making plans i am driving myself mad with the what ifs and maybes. I keep going over in my mind what could i have done differently is this normal it is causing me so much pain
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Hi @Cammy99
So sorry for the loss of your husband 
What you are thinking and feeling is completely normal. It’s cruel how our mind works when we are grieving. It’s like we are consistently torturing ourselves. It’s a really scary and lonely place to be. Please try to understand that you really couldn’t have done anything different, you loved him so much but you couldn’t have changed the harrowing outcome.
Everyone here is very supportive. Sometimes it’s just good to offload, people won’t judge. It is a safe place.
Sending lots of love and a big warm hug xx
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Hi @Cammy99
What you are feeling is perfectly normal. And gradually you will learn to cope with it all.
Our brains seem to like to play awful games with us. I seem to have a very teeny tiny bit of sensible brain, the rest is crazy and very unpredictable.
I’m hoping eventually the sensible bit will increase a bit and I can take back control of my life.
In the meantime I post on here to maintain my sanity, and to know that everyone on here cares and gives support. We are all in the same boat, and we all look out for each other.
Take care, sending you love and a big hug 
x
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