Unexpected death

My partner has recently passed away unexpectedly at home, we were together 24 years . It’s only been three weeks and I think I am still in shock we have no family either so we have always just had each other and now he’s gone so it’s just me . I am 42 my partner was older than me and Ive spent all of my adult life with this person so everything is feeling really weird ATM I don’t know how I am meant to be feeling .


You will definitely be in shock at three weeks. There is no rule book on grief. You will feel as you feel. Some of us cry all the time. Some it takes a while for it to sink in. I am sorry you are alone in this. My family live some distance but I had their support and still do. It’s 3 months for me and still very hard. I hope you at least have good neighbours. I couldn’t survive without mine. As we say in this site take 1 hour and 1 day at a time. Vent on this site as and when you need. Someone will normally be here. Watch out for the brain fog we have all suffered. I was with my husband just under 50 years but time is not relevant for grief. All on this site loved and suffer no matter how long they have been together. Love and hugs.


Sorry you have had to join the club. However it is very supportive and everyone will know how your feeling.
3 weeks is very early days and there are no rules to how you’re supposed to feel. The pain will be immeasurable, very raw.
Just take each hour as it comes and don’t focus on the future as the loss of your future will be just as painful.
Take small steps and just focus on what needs to be done today.
It’s so hard to know what’s going on and how the hell you’re going to get through this but you will. There’s so many of us going through this. Just keep reaching out.


My husband was unexpectedly and suddenly aboard nearly 16 weeks ago. At the age of 52 I’m 44 and I’m still in shock and it’s still hard to believe it’s happened. All feelings are normal, numbness, shock, complete meltdowns, behaving normally etc


I am in the same situation that you sadly find yourself,although I had a few weeks warning that I would lose my wife. We were together 24 years and during that time she was everything that I wanted and needed so friendships weren’t something I developed,our friends were my wife’s friends so apart from the odd one that’s about it.
My family are scattered to the four winds so I haven’t remained in touch with them either.
I am now feeling the isolation that my decisions have created and it’s very painful so beware. There isn’t any answer to how you are meant to be feeling but all of us on this forum have a pretty good idea as we are in the same situation. I wish that I could suggest a few ideas to help you but other than post on this forum I’m like you,just lost. I wish you the strength to work through the coming days but as others have said,an hour at a time to start with.


Just feel how you feel. I kind of think grief is something that’s happening to me rather than coming from me as I don’t really have any control over it.
I guess all you can do is take one step at a time but I’m so sorry for your pain xx


I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly while sleeping 5 months ago. I did CPR until paramedics arrived but it wasn’t to be. We were together 34 years, 29 married. He was 51. I’m still in shock. I’ve gone back to work 2 weeks ago to try and take my mind off it, just for a few hours. Its not really working. I’m guessing this is how things are, going forward. I feel empty and the pain is so intense. I think what I’m trying to say is everything you feeling/going through is “normal” We all feel different, act different, are different. Be kind to yourself. It’s hard I know. I am broken but this group helps. :heart:


It’s a long road without shortcuts; my way of coping was solitude. Friends and family didn’t understand why I couldn’t watch TV or drink tea. I am in a better place now, I hope you find your way forward. It is not easy when you have lost everything; take baby steps and be kind to yourself.