i know what i want of what i cant have ( my Richard back with me ) but, i dont know what i want of what i can have, since my life has been turned upside down since 11 th April 2019 after the sudden and unexpected loss of my Richard…my future has now become so very frightening and unpredictable when all i want is a continuation of my old future, the one i felt comfortable with during our 20 years together…
Jackie…
Sometimes I think we took for granted what we had.Well,you do,don’t you?Settled into a comfortable life and just enjoying life,even though we were limited with Robs disabilities,Just a trip to the local park,a couple of pints in our favourite pub and going for fish and chips.He got so much pleasure from this even though it was once a month.Something I can’t do on my own now.
I understand Jackie, I have lost so many of my loved ones in the last couple of years, even my beloved cat, the most recent was on 31/12/19, left me reeling and so sad. Life feels so precarious now, I hate answering the phone, opening mail, just dread what I might hear. Its so hard and people always say, it will feel better in time and I wish it would
…i too get frightened when white or brown official looking envelopes drop through the letterbox…same as when the phone rings, i have had a lot of fictitious BT phone messages of cutting off my phone line, very frightening when i have had to rely on Richards desk top computer for business letter-photo copying etc etc…And if or when the computer goes down, my Richard knew how to deal with it, with them, he took over everything completely…I also took him for granted,…he was just always there…i was just spoilt, had the easy life whilst with him for 18 of the 20 years living with him…He was also 100% reliable and punctual, a real old fashioned person, i never ever knew Richard to ever let anybody down…everyone who knew him, knew he was reliable…he was also liked by everyone who knew him, and i really do mean that…
…and no, i dont believe time is our great healer, in-fact the longer it goes on (our loved ones not being there with us ) the harder and worse it gets that they are NEVER EVER coming back to us…this is our reality, gone forever, never to hear their voice, never to see their face for however long we ourselves have left to live…
Jackie…
Hi Jackie I know how you feel ive been without Colin for two years now and we were together for 59 years , He was reliable would help anyone nothing was to much trouble, But things are not getting better I miss him more everyday Yes and I was spoilt. You are in my thought Jackie Love Pam xx