I lost my adult son suddenly last year in awful circumstances.
My grief comes from nowhere and whenever it wants. Its lack of warning is quite difficult to predict or prepare for. I can be in the middle of a crowd or alone at home and suddenly the lightening bolt hits me in the chest and burns like its brand new . It is so physical as well a mentally painful. I miss my son so much and need to express and let out the grief, I completely understand that but find being out and about or getting into any kind of routine so difficult now. The reality just hides then comes as such a shock.
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Its so very raw and early for you. It does come from the nowhere and when we least expect it. Sending you a big hug x
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A big hug from me, too. x
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Welcome April. It often happens that ‘triggers’ can send us off into grief. We may not recognise them at the time, but a sight, a sound even a smell can do it. Yes it is physical as well as mental. Your body can be affected because the feeling of loss and trauma is so strong. Thoughts too can cause this spontaneous outpouring of grief. It’s OK. Emotions should be allowed out. It’s good that you can cry. If you read some of the posts here you will find some have difficulty in crying or expressing emotions.
I am not going to say any of the things you may have heard because you are probably fed up with them by now. Both Sarrah and Mary have sent you their hugs and may I add mine too. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Let your grief flow when and how it wants. Try not to be embarrassed when it happens when with people. If they don’t understand then come back to us. WE DO!!! Blessings.
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It does and it will. I was fine the other day then when making dinner, found myself on the floor howling and crying.
It’s what we do my love.
Kate xxx
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There is so much heartache in this sad old world of ours’ I wish I could wave a magic wand to make things better for all of you and be re-united with our loved ones.
Just saying x x x x x
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It’s so hard to cope isn’t it. When it comes - the reality. So painful knowing you’ll never see them again I. Your lifetime. I miss him so much. I’m sorry you’re suffering too… x
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Thank you for replying. I’m feeling so much pain right now. These reality hits are truly the worst. I just don’t know how any of us can learn to cope without having to visit this awful loss time and time again. I send you best wishes x
Dear April,
I have just had a crying session, grieving for my Stan, we were so lucky, we had 62 years together, 59 of them married. In the '50s when we started going out together, young couples did not live together, perish the thought. My dad told me off because we were holding hands in front of him, honestly it is unbelievable now, I am going back to the dark ages. My mum fell out with me when I told her that I was going to the Family Planning clinic one month before our wedding. I could write a book. Sorry I have digressed, what I meant to say was when you meet the one, you never have enough time together, yet I feel quite greedy that we had so long.
Love,
MaryL x
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Welcome April,
I am so sorry to hear about your son.
MaryL x
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Hi - thank you for your message
I too have just had a big crying session. It hurts my face even when it can’t come out as much as it feels it should. I do wish we could perform magic to somehow get this whole thing less painful. It sounds like you met the man you were meant to meet for all your life. How lucky you were . But that makes it hurt all the more to have lost him. That’s the thing … the more you’ve loved the more it hurts to lose. I’m sorry you’re also hurting so bad. X From one puffy face to another big hug x
Thank you . It’s still so hard to accept. 
I tell myself this April, we were the lucky ones to have so long together. x
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