My partner Baz collapsed and died suddenly and unexpectedly on the 16th January 2023. I am not coping neither will I ever come to terms with this catastrophic loss - he was and still is my world . I am wondering if anyone has some advice to offer . At first , my son and his wife were fabulous, really supportive, loving and were helping me come to terms with my new circumstances.
Fast forward a year and things could not be different. My son has withdrawn all support, refuses to take my phone call or texts even when I’m in a messs needing something important or simply feeling really lonely and upset .
He’s frightening me with threats to cut off contact and although I now realise I’ve relied upon him too much , I couldn’t bear this.
I dont understand why my son is putting his needs TOTALLY over and above mine at the worst point in my life . How can a lifetime of love , devotion, encouragement and a good relationship ( with my boy) be wiped out because of a family tragedy. I regularly ring the Samaritans these days because life is so bleak , I don’t know how to go on like this . I’m desperately trying to make amends with my son ( although it’s hardly my fault my partner died) . I want to make things right between us , but hugs constant threats to cut me off are making me ill on top of my grief . Has anyone else experienced such a thing , does anyone have any advice because thisittuation is making life a complete misery. Additionally, my son is due to help me with my partner’s ashes because I’ve not been mentally strong enough to tackle this yet - I now fear I will have to do this alone . Thank you for listening 
Breakdown or lack of family support seems to be a regular theme unfortunately
All I can suggest is offering your son the opportunity to air his grievances in a long message of some sort - not a discussion - so you at least know what’s driving the behaviour. There must be something behind the change and he feels slighted by something and is blaming you.
Without knowing what that is, you haven’t got any perspective to even start a reconciliation process
@MemoriesOfUs thank you . I have tried to message him but he doesn’t respond. This concerns me . I cannot think what could be driving this , like you say he needs to tell me . I’m shocked to read that this type of situation is common in bereavement because it’s the most painful experience you can go through. Someone adding to this is just being cruel , selfish or unreasonable. I’m so wanting to put things right , because up until fairly recently things were good ( as far as I could tell) . Maybe I’ve just become a burden, which is very sad considering he has not been brought up to think like that . Thank you for your insight x