Unsupportive partners

Hi everyone as you know I’ve been on here for a couple of weeks now chatting about different things after a really bad day yesterday and sobbing most of the day my partner tday has basically said that he doesn’t know if I can cope with me crying and me moping about and he said he understands I’m grieving for my girls but he said I’ve got to look to the future a bit more which yes I agree but I don’t know how to look forward to normal stuff. The guilt feeling overtakes the joy of Holiday bookings etc I don’t know if anyone else is going through the same I feel so lonely and alone. Any advice plz. Shellyanne xx

If your grieving then your grieving and you need support lots of it. By the sounds of it. Grief does make you feel alone and lonely. You may need other external support.

Thing is grief affects no two people the same so you have to deal with it as best you can. And with the support of others. Much love Mark :heart:

Hi Shelley Anne, unfortunately grief doesn’t go away after a few months, it takes time for you to adapt to this new life without your daughter. It’s not a one size fits all solution. Have you tried counselling, it’s not for everybody but it may help. Talking to other bereaved parents helps. But Im sorry to say for the foreseeable future you are going to feel how you feel at the present.
You can’t just turn it off. It’s very early days for you. My wife ( not biological mother of my son). Has been incredible but it has not been easy. She has had to put up with a hell of a lot from me. If your partner isn’t the biological father then he can’t possibly understand what is involved, what you are going through. Take care

Hi Jim yes Im having councilling weekly she’s very nice and she s trying to explain that all these feelings are normal that I’m experiencing I just wish my partner would understand me a bit more I know it must be hard for him to see me a mess and in tears alot and my mood swings are shocking sometimes but I struggle with my emotions. Thank you all for your support XX shellyanne

Hi Shellyann,
I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. I can relate; my mum was ill for a long time before she passed away and the stress of that plus anticipatory grief meant I was crying and sad a lot. My partner also said to me he was struggling to cope with me being upset so much, and it felt like an extra blow on top of everything else. I think unfortunately people have different levels of emotional capacity, and I can also empathise it’s hard for a partner too - they can feel helpless.
I’ve found that spreading the load helps, so a combo of counselling and talking to friends and journalling and posting online… so it doesn’t all come down on your partner. But it’s really hard, and I’m still trying to navigate it too so I understand