Yesterday was not too bad. I did some major jobs and got a certain amount of satisfaction and sense of achievement. I tried that strategy again today but everything I did seemed pointless. Yesterday I thought, Yes, I managed that job fairly well, it looks better and he would be pleased that I am continuing to take care of things. Today I kept remembering that nobody will care or even notice if I do that job or not.
Nothing happened to cause a change of mindset. I guess itās just the nature of the beast named grief.
It seemed that every song on the radio was sad. I kept remembering things we used to do that I will never experience again.
He has been missing for nine weeks, today he was even more missing than usual.
Roll on Monday. Xx
I know the feeling Willow112I have very similar days, today has been awful for me and that feeling of ālife is pointlessā was hanging over me like a thick black cloudā¦
I think maybe when we donāt see the point we have to try and change our mindset because the things are meaningful as we are important too and what you did has made your home better for you.
I am 12 weeks in, so not much further on than you and I consider it very early days still but at least we are not standing still. 
Didnāt do brilliantly yesterday. Was glad that it wasnt as hot as I feared. Got the grass cut early. Then seemed to lose interest.
Nothing I had to go to.
Sunday it was all rushing about because two clashing things to go to.
Both bbq.
Always the same nothing then all at once.
Next day flat feeling after initially grateful to wind down. That is when missing my husband the most who died Nov 2022.
I miss him anyway but not as bad when I am amongst the family.
Seeing the allotment all neglected hits home what he would have been busy with. I didnāt have the energy like I used to.