Hello Everyone, I’m new to this kind of thing, don’t know where to start.
I lost my partner of 8 years, Jane, to sepsis on the 20th March this year, aged 54. She’d had some health problems over the last year or so, two stays in hospital. On this most recent stay, she’d been diagnosed with quite a large stomach ulcer which led to a lot of toxicity in the blood. After a transfusion and treatment she was well on the way to recovery and looking forward to coming home, but suddenly developed pneumonia and died the next day.
In the two plus weeks since, I have been a bit of a mess, but have had great support from both my family and hers.
I have experienced grief before and know in my heart that I will never get over it, but will be able to function slightly better each day, I’ve had a couple of ‘good’ days, where I’ve just ‘got on with it’, and then felt guilty because I’ve not spent the day crying!
I’m not sure what I’m trying to say, never been any good at discussing my feelings lol.
Sorry if I’m rambling on a bit, not been sleeping too well, think I may be losing my mind.
I’m so sorry for your loss and for you finding yourself here. We are all a bit of a mess, so keep reading and posting and you won’t feel alone in that.
The lack of sleep is a real problem, here I am again, awake at this ridiculous hour of the night, and you are, too. It makes everything so much more difficult to deal with the next day.
I can’t really offer any advice except to say that you need to keep going, get up each day and take care of yourself. I’m 2 weeks and 1 week into this nightmare and things change from day to day.
Sorry for your loss , we lost my wife nearly 4 weeks ago and I’ve not slept much since , family and friends have kept me & our 2 kids busy and been great support , still feel complete emptiness inside all the time though and long to just be with my wife again .
Only thing keeping me sane is this board and being able to post what I’m thinking , knowing everyone understands how I feel as unless you have gone through this horrible experience I don’t think you could ever truely understand .
So sorry for your loss Ted2
I’m 6 weeks into this horrendous journey now and know how you’re feeling . “A bit of a mess” is probably an understatement
Please don’t worry if you feel you’re rambling, you’re not, but it doesn’t matter if you are. We’re all in this together, whatever you’re feeling and thinking at the time can really help you, and others who feel the same and we’re all here to help each other.
Looking back at some of my posts, sometimes they’re very rambly, others, me feeling sorry for myself and others, I hope helpful.
Mostly at the moment I feel lost and alone even though I have good support.
@Ted2 please don’t think of it as ‘rambling’, it’s a way to begin processing your thoughts.
I’m still processing mine 3 months on.
There are bad days and some slightly better days.
Days when I keep busy, do things, get on with the business of life.
Days when I want to disappear, do nothing, not talk.
Take each day as it comes but remember to take time to look after yourself and do the things that are right for you.