Hi I’ve come back on here to talk to people who are going through grief like me I lost my husband nine months ago now and finding it harder like I’m going back in grief some days are good some bad some people are telling me I should be over it and when I tell them about my grief they don’t want to know my son and his partner are having a baby January I can’t get excited at the moment has it’s trigger to knowing that my husband is not here to share the news also I had a camera down a couple of weeks ago which resulted in having a CT scan sat I know they say no news is good but I suffer with anxiety and depression and have worked myself right up until I have the results rob was always hear reassuring me which I miss coming home to a empty house I’m all mixed up at the moment to cry or not to cry this weather is not helping has I don’t like drinking water much or squash I feel sometimes that I’m going to collapse or end up in a phsy ward my children live some distance away i go down my mothers to stay sometimes but she said she doesn’t get me I lost my father when I was 12. and they were the generation that were told to get over it, I have so much conflicting advice, my one friend is pressuring me has she is telling me to clear my house out especially for the baby coming but sometimes I have no motivation she keeps asking me have I phoned the man I phoned to clear the house she has said to give her the number that she can phone them people are telling me you need to work at grief yourself but it’s hard to push through
I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my partner of 40 years ten and a half months ago. I would agree that the grief can get worse at this time. Reality is sinking in that you have to negotiate a life you didn’t ask for, without your loved one.
Your family’s and your friend’s expectations of you are unrealistic and when you’re grieving someone you work to your own timeline not someone else’s.. A new baby is not going to take the place of your husband but perhaps when it’s born it will give you a boost. Tell your friend that you will clear your house when you feel you can cope with it. I still have all my partner’s clothes. I’ve shredded a lot of paperwork but it’s been a painful emotional experience and I ve had to leave it and go back to it again.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’ve had health problems as well as your loss, it’s a lot to deal with. Perhaps you could talk to your GP or a counsellor about how you feel. I wish I could tell you that you’ll feel better soon but unfortunately grief comes in waves. and nine months is actually still very early on. Take care.
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Hi @Sandypaws022
You have had a lot to deal with your grief and your health problems. It is nearly 11 months since I lost my husband. I had counselling which really helped me .
I also attended a bereavement cafe as well
Which is held once a month.
Yesterday when I went to the bereavement cafe . There was a new lady there who has recently lost her husband. Her daughter is expecting. a baby soon. She said she found no joy in it as her husband wasn’t her to share it with her . You are not on your in how you are feeling. You have to things when you are ready to them .
I hope your results come back negative
Look after yourself
Ah I think you have to deal with your grief in your own time and your own way. Don’t feel pressured. Take your time and take each day. That’s how I am dealing with things 
