I lost my husband a month ago
Its been really difficult and still is
All my family havr been very supportive
My brother in law Ian’s brother has been really supportive
He just wants to help
The only problem is that he’s alot like Ian it’s a comfort in away to spend time with him but in another way it’s really upsetting
Today for example me him and my daughter went for a walk along the coast we were just talking as we were walking and I automatically went to hold he’s hand for a split second I thought he was Ian
I don’t know what to do
I know he wants to look after me and the kids because he told me that Ian asked him to look after us when he’s not here but it’s so difficult I suppose it’s only early days I will just try to cope

Dotty as you said it’s the comfort you need. I lost my husband four months ago, every second of every day, I ache for him.
Your emotions are all over the place, you are in an unknown world right now. I wish that I had the words to comfort you, as you said it’s early days.
All I can do right now is to tell you that every one here understands how you feel. Sending you hugs. Maria.

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Hi Dotty
When my Auntie died several years ago, my uncle( her husband) asked me to go to their house to see if there was anything of hers I would like. He said I reminded him so much of my Auntie.
As I was leaving he tried to kiss me on the lips. I was absolutely mortified and literally ran off. The day after, he came to my house to apologise and he was so upset. He said he just wanted to feel her kiss again, because he missed her so much and I was so like her.
I didn’t understand at the time but since my husband died I know exactly how grief works. So please don’t feel badly about taking your brother in laws hand. It is understandable.
I wish I knew then what I know now but we never fully understand until we feel that pain ourselves.
I send you my love and virtual hugs.x

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lost my wife april 13th.feel sad, hurt, guilty that she went so quickly.we were together 24/7.and i miss her so much how… we laughed and did everything together…the tears that have i have cried,dont ease my pain.i have my daughter son inlaw without them i dont think i could have coped

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Hi Angie
I’m very sorry for your loss
It sounds like you have been in a awful postion
I suppose grief effects people different ways
I have just been keeping in at arms length like you say
I do feel bad about it
But I need to do it at least for a bit

Thankyou for the great advice
Take care Marie x

Hi Harry
I’m so sorry for your loss
Or is so so hard when you lose a life partner
In the past 10 years I have lost 6 people in my life
Even though it was painfull losing my parents but the grief is no where as painfully as losing your sole mate
Its really good you have support and soneone you can talk to
Take care
Marie x

I know exactly how you feel Harry. I lost my wife on the 22nd April. We we’re together 24/7. We had very few friends because we we’re so happy in each other’s company. I know it’s early days but I can’t believe I will ever get over the loss, it’s so painful. If it wasn’t for my three daughters and grandchildren I wouldn’t want to be here. I’m dreading the long road ahead.

I do feel comfort from reading the messages on this site, knowing we’re not alone.

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Hi Gary
I’m sorry for your loss
I’m the same as you dreading the long road ahead
I woudnt be here if it wasn’t for my kids and grandson
I have just found out I’m going to be a nana again so that’s something to look forward to
It is very comforting knowing that we not alone because of this forum
You take care
You can PM me anytime sounds like we have alot in common

Marie x

Congratulations on the news of a new grandchild. I hope it gives you something to look forward to and helps you moving forward.

Take care x

Hi Gary
Thankyou x

thank you all for your words