Visiting a dying dad

I’m driving back to see my dad tomorrow he is terminally ill in hospital with cancer. He and we have been told he doesn’t have long.
We only found out in May he had cancer and now it is everywhere and they aren’t going to treat him. He was admitted at the weekend with a lung infection. All along he has said he’s going to get better, but he is now completely bed bound, very weak and in lots of pain. Today the doctor has said they may look at using the ‘Pathway’ whatever that means. Both myself and my dad are very emotional people. He lost his mum to cancer and never got over it, now he is in the same position. I’m seeing him tomorrow and every day going forward I want to be strong and hold it together but I don’t t know how to and I don’t know what to say. I know he’s going to look so much worse than when I saw him 4 weeks ago. My question is does anyone know what the doctor means by “Pathway” and what that will actually mean for my dad.? And what do I say to my dad? especially if my dad still says he wants treatment and wants to get better. I think he is afraid of dying. My heart is broken. Thank you.


Hi @Caz23
I am so sorry you are going through this. All you can do is be there and listen to your dad. Sometimes just admitting you don’t have the answers, but that you love him, is the only thing you can say.
The pathway usually refers to a plan of care with the focus on making quality of life as good as possible.
Take care :heart:


Im sorry you are going through this. I sadly lost my Dad to cancer 8 years ago and can still remember the day when the oncologist said we are sorry there isnt anything else we can do. They are most likely talking about putting into place medication to make him more comfortable. Try and spend as much time together as you can, and say everything that you want to say. Its hard staying strong, it is truly the most emotionally exhausting roller coaster ever, but you just being there will make a difference. This time is precious, and I have never regretted being with my Dad.

Sadly I lost my mum suddenly 4 weeks ago to a haemorrhage. My brother and I didnt get a chance to say goodbye properly, we sat with her and talked to her but she was put into a induced coma and wasn’t able to respond. It all happened within a few hours. I would have done anything to have had more time with her, but it was so sudden and unexpected. Thinking of you. Xxxx

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