I’m been going to my husbands grave every day since he passed i only live next door to cemetery. But just lately i feel so upset standing looking at the pile of earth separating us i keep thinking hes only 6ft away and wishing i could hold his hand and have one of his cuddles. It doesn’t seem to get any easier as time as by is it normal to think like this. Im so confused how i should be feeling.
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@Misprint sorry for your loss 
I lost mine 4/12/23 and I’ve been to his grave today, and I do exactly the same, I stand there crying thinking he’s under there and I want to dig him out! As morbid as that sounds! Everyone says I’d find comfort in his grave but as of yet I don’t as I can’t accept he’s gone, it’s very hard, life just seems to go on around us and ours has stood still! I feel like I’m stuck on the 4th of December 
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I understand where your coming from .i feel the same
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@Ang5 and @Misprint
I go to ‘see’ my husband 3-4 times a week , his ashes are in the local church yard. It definitely gives me comfort visiting him, I talk to him and
I miss him so much. It is nearly 4 months since I lost him. We were married nearly 47 years.
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It’s too soon to feel comfort in anything . The first thing is acceptance before anything else . Be patient with yourself as none of these feelings can be rushed . At present the grief and sadness is all consuming . Just let it be. Caring thoughts heading your way 
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I scattered half of my partner’s ashes in her favourite park and interred the other half in the graveyard where she had her funeral.
I get comfort from the graveyard and interring a part of her ashes there was best decision that I wasn’t sure of at time, as it wasn’t part of her last wishes.
I feel closer to her faffing at the graveyard, arranging and putting flowers there, cleaning and polishing her headstone, putting trinkets and little memorial items.
Makes me feel I’m still taking care of her in a sense
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I have been to see my husband in the cemetery every single day since his funeral on October 10th 2023, we were always together & doing everything together & now its just me…i cant watch any of our favourite tv programmes any more, & hardly eating i have lost over 3 stone in weight…& now im just counting the days until we can be reunited again…the sooner the better.
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I’m the same
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Such wise words
My first wife died suddenly 16 years ago this April after 38 years married. My second wife died January 2023 after 8 years married. It has been a privilege and a pleasure to have known and loved and be loved by two amazing women. I will not fall in love with anyone else. Both their ashes are scattered together because my second wife loved the place where my first wife is. This coming Friday 2nd Feb is the first anniversary of my second wife’s funeral. It will be a sad day.
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Bless you all
My husband is at home.
His box of ashes in the sideboard in our front room, and right by the front door.
His favourite place was being at home. It was an easy decision for me to keep him here , close to me. The top of the sideboard has become alike a little shine to him. I tap the top of the sideboard every time I leave the house,and when I come in again.
@Susan71 - these were wise words and they really hit a chord with me.
It’s 17 months for me now, I lost my husband, my soulmate and my best best friend on 24 August 2022.
I still don’t believe it’s true, I still can’t accept it. So I’m sure I’m still in the denial stage of grief.
I just can’t move on from that. Mostly, I think, because I don’t want to.
I’m too scared. It’s safer to stay in the little bubble I created for myself on the day he died - keeping him and me, and our two little dogs safe together, where noone else or nothing else could ever hurt us again.
Much love and strength to you all for another day to cope with 
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