Visiting grave

When my husband was first buried i found it a comfort to visit his grave but now when i visit i feel such great sadness and sorrow standing there reading inscription on headstone and looking at his daffs in flower on grave i no he would have loved them. Why do i feel such overwhelming sadness now and does anyone else experience the same. Feel like im going crazy.


Hi @Misprint,

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support/share their thoughts, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us. Keep reaching out,

1 Like

Yes I get that. Headstone not there yet. But his bench is in place nearby and a memorial granite pot with his photo on it.
Daffs grown in soil we planted.
I don’t go all the time.
I have struggled to go before.
I tarted up the cross which had weathered.
Someone upset me saying they dont like shrines. It isn’t.
My grandkids like putting little paper butterflies in and messages.

1 Like

I visit my partner’s headstone every week (she was cremated and portion of ashes interred)
I’m always filled with sadness when I’m there, but it’s become my ritual that I find some sense of comfort in - clean and polish headstone, clean the keepsakes, place flowers etc

I also decorated it at Xmas, placed valentine’s day card and birthday card and present.
It brings me comfort

Everyone’s different and each of us have to find our unique way of finding some sort of comfort, best we can


I visit the grave most days,it’s only 5 minutes drive away,the main thing I feel,apart from sadness, is confusion,I talk to her much of the time in the house but also talk to her at the grave.
I’m trying to find somewhere where I can feel some connection with her,there are 3 peoples ashes in the grave, my wifes, my sister in law and my mother in law,all much loved by me and I always come away disappointed and confused.


Well I don’t go to the grave that much. Only when I went to. I am trying to get back to things I stopped doing.
Today had plans but felt lonely and demotivated on my own.
Reflective day.

I feel the same. My partner was cremated then his ashes were buried. He has a little plot at the crematorium and I go every week. Half of the headstone is empty for me when my ashes are buried with him. I stand there looking at it and just want to be there next to him. He has a daffodil on the headstone because it was his favourite flower and there’s a dove there for me my favourite bird. I sometimes hate going because I feel he should be here with me. But sometimes it is so peaceful and I feel close to him x

1 Like

My husband has a plot and a headstone all in place, but I still have his ashes at home. I am going to bury them in the summer so i can place flowers. I have grown in the garden on it for him.

1 Like

That is a lovely thing to do. When I went on Monday I added some of the ones I had grown in a pot to the ones I had bought x

1 Like

I have a headstone being made. Outside the tree my late husband tebded for years has blossomed and it is like a memorial to him .

1 Like

I have had a tree planted at the memorial gardens of the crematorium, where my husband had his farewell service.
I too have his ashes at home, and a place on the memorial stone for my name to be added.
My husband’s ashes will remain at home with me, until they can be joined with mine, then we both will be put by the tree.

I go every couple of weeks, sometimes more often. It’s peaceful, and I like taking things and adding to the plot and hanging decorations on the tree.
Ofcourse I’ll be going this weekend with some Easter decorations

Everything we all do is so personal, and we must all negotiate, and find the right way for us , along this winding and difficult journey we are all on .

Love, hugs and strength