i have two dogs a little cross breed Daisy may and a westie called mac,
i lost my husband in July and Mac was really his dog they went for walks twice a day they would sit together in the arm chair he would tell his master when it was meal time and was always bringing his ball to him for a game .
Mac did miss his master and wouldn’t eat much for a few weeks but glad to say he’s eating fine now,
What I’m finding hard now is that I can’t manage to take both dogs out together so do it one at a time now with Daisy I’m not to bad,but when I walk Mac I’m crying my eyes out every time think it’s because my husband used to do the same walk every day and gave mac a biscuit at certain places and Mac remembers and stops and looks up for his treat, it’s so heartbreaking I miss him so much should be him walking his dog,
take care xxx
Yes Linda. Digs do react to bereavement, very much so. There’s a heartbreaking picture, forgot who by, of a dog laying by his masters grave, the man was a shepherd. The look on the dogs face can’t be described. Sorry, but it got me going when I read your post. It’s OK though, a few tears don’t hurt.
My wife and I always had dogs, Boxers, and we so enjoyed their company.
But you are fortunate to have such loving companions. They don’t ask for much do they? But what they give in the way of loyalty and love is beyond price.
Try not to stop taking Mac out. I know you won’t, and have a good cry if you want. You and your dogs are expressing love for your lost one.
It’s very early days for you Linda. The pain is still very much apparent. Take it easy, a day at a time. I’m over 10 moths ago now and still find it difficult at times. At times! Yes, it does get better. A little at a time, but when we begin this process time seems to have no meaning.
Be kind to yourself as you are to your canine companions. Blessings and a hug.
Thanks Jonathan your words help so much, I remember one dog that laid on his masters grave yes think dogs grieve too, mac still sleeps on my husband armchair at night, had him clipped yesterday so he looks smart again now I do clip my other dog Daisy but my husband would never let me do mac said he’s not having a bad hair day so will always send him to the groomers,
I miss my husband Roger so very much we were married for 45 years I’m still trying to decide where I want his ashes to go there still at the undertakes think it would be nice to have him interned in a graveyard near me so I could take Mac to visit him there.
Sending you a hug take care xxx
Hello Linda I simply have to reply to this one.
I have two lovely dogs who I can safely say have saved my life. Both were rescue.
Beepa came out of a Dog Pound on her last day. I was on my way home with her within half an hour of meeting her. In ten days I had trained her and she is amazing with tons of love to give. A few issues on the way but all solvable. Bugsy I fostered and he ended up staying he’s a terrier cross. Beepa suffered terribly with the loss of Brian. Before he died she never left his side for months until the last week then she wouldn’t go near him. Afterwards she refused to leave his chair in the dining room. Would never come with me into the living room at night. You see Brian and Beep had their routine. Brian washed up and I went into the living room. Beep stayed with Brian until he finished then they both came into me. When he died she refused to come with me. I wondered if she was still waiting for him. She developed a chattering of her teeth which is anxiety. (Fortunately stopped now) and only just beginning to sit with me at night. I used to say I was only the servant as I walked, trained, fed, groomed the dogs but they adored Brian.
I’m not sure why you can’t walk the two dogs together. But I hope you will find a way to manage. I have found that walking my dogs has given me such joy. They are a pleasure and I think it a privilege to own them. They are well behaved, and friendly with everyone and both help with troubled dogs.
I had my husbands ashes put into the grave of his grandparents and when we did this I took the dogs to our small ceremony. I told them it was Daddy and let Beepa sniff the urn. Not sure if this helped her but when I say were going to talk to Daddy they know exactly where to go and lie quietly on or by the grave only attempting to walk away (they are off lead) when I move on. When I sit in the cemetery they sit quietly by my side. I think sensing my sadness.
Take your time don’t rush, it’s all a lot to take in at the moment.
Pat xxx
Hi Linda our dog Jenny as been a godsend to me since my wife Jane passed away last November she never leaves my side except when I go to bed or have to go to the doctors even then she waits at the window till I drive in with the car she is like that dog you mentioned Grayfriars Bobby who never left his masters grave.
Jenny was Janes dog really as I have posted on this site before she used to wait at the gate or front door for Jane coming home from her kidney dyaliss she would only wait at the time she seemed to know Jane was on her way home in the ambulance be it 12-00,12-30or 1-00pm she would not wait till that certain time.
When I used to get up there would be no recognition still doesn’t but when she heard Jane moving about upstairs she would sat the kitchen door scratching it to get to her.
The sad part of it was Jane never thought of her as her dog she spent her puppy time with me mostly because Jane had to go to dyaliss 3days aweek 4 hours at a time she couldn’t take her a walk as she was going blind and was very unsure on her feet.
Without our Jenny life would have been very grim I am on my own and probably wouldn’t have been here I worry about her if anything happens to me that is the worst thing.
She is a comical and loving little dog I’m sure Jane is proud of now at night when we are sitting down she stare’s at Janes chair as if Jane was saying something she is still a young dog yet but as she gets older hopefully she will sense if Jane is there as they say it’s a dogs life.
Kind regards and thoughts MM69
Hi Linda I lost my husband last December, when he retired he decided he wanted a dog much to my dismay, but he talked me round and we bought a cocker spaniel (misty) she was his dog through and through wherever he was she was a step behind, when he died she sat on the stairs for hours at a time waiting for him, when I walk her through the woods where he walked her she always stops at a fallen tree my husband used to sit on for five minutes before the walk home, so I do this as well, it broke my heart at first as it was as if she was looking for him, now it is part of our routine, She has been my life saver always with me and my reason to get up every morning take care Jan x
Hi pat, dogs do have there routine don’t they and it hurts so much when our loved ones dies and that routine is broken , but they are great comfort and I will get used to walking Mac,
I did try walking them together but Mac just barks all the time he used to do that when i walked the dogs with my husband so that’s why we always walked them separate,
I will try later maybe but at the moment I can’t deal with any hassle it gets to much,
Sending hugs take care xx
Two months after my husband died I got little companion, she saved my life, stopped me from having silly thoughts, gave me something to concentrate on outside my grief, she is a rescue dog, I like to think we saved each other. Take comfort in that you and your dogs both loved your hubby you walking him and him letting you walk him is a connection to your hubby and his memory.
Hi Pat and everyone,
Sadly did not get the rescue dog from abroad as I think it would have been to much for me but have rehomed a collie cross who was not being looked after properly not getting walked or fed properly ,he is a very loving dog so he fills my time after losing my dog Brodie who I do still miss terribly as he was more John’s dog but like many others I had to take over for many years when John got ill he to was a great dog but will give this fella a good home and as I said it gives you something to focus on,it will be 2 years on Friday when John died but he had been in a care home for over 3 years previously and in hospital for 9 months before that so he had a really bad time as the family did it was so cruel to see him and nothing we could do but visit him every day,as Sheila says it does not get easier but you accept it as there is nothing else for it but I often feel why us as our plans for our retirement etc were only starting when his illness started ,I feel cheated as John was only 68 when he died but had left us many years before that,I hope you all are coping as well as can be expected and try to move on with a day at a time as that is all I do after all this time some people think you should be fine by now but they don’t understand the grief never goes away completely you just cope with it the best you can.So take care all.
Brenda
x
Hi Linda,
I’m also a Linda by the way. I was in the same situation as you with 2 little dogs, one of them very much my late husbands dog, so much so that he wouldn’t leave my husbands bed during the last days.
No need to take each dog out separately, I bought a twin lead on Amazon so I can manage to take both dogs out but only need one hand to hold the lead.
Visiting places you used to go together is hard but I’m sure your husband would want you to continue with Mac as he used to after all dogs grieve and feel pain just like us.
Stay strong
Hi there Brenda, so pleased you managed to get another dog, he will bring you much comfort I am sure. A collie cross will need lots of exercise so this should get you out and on the move whether you feel like it or not. They certainly do make you focus. My lovely pair are always with me, I am lost without them by my side. I will never be able to repay them for their love and help through this past year.
To see your husband in a care home and hospital for those years must have been painful, you have been through so much and now have to cope with your grief. Not easy is it. But you have your new dog that hasn’t had an easy start so loving him will help you I’m sure. You will be helping each other.
Very sensible to not have the dog from abroad if you felt you couldn’t cope. I feel for these dogs, I really do, but all too many are coming here and they are going to homes that just don’t have the experience to train/handle them. My Beepa was in a Dog Pound on her last day of life as she had aggression issues with food/anxiety. I soon cured both, but I have the experience and I couldn’t have a better dog now. I often wonder if she had come from abroad and then thrown onto the streets.
I agree I can never see this grief going away but determined to cope.
Best of luck with your new companion.
Pat xxx