Want my Dad back, why did cancer take him from me.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about four months ago and was told it was fatal however thought he had much longer, he passed away on two days, Saturday night. I wasn’t there and heard about it an hour later. It doesn’t feel real I don’t know if I’m just in shock or if I’m numb. I can’t help feeling it wasn’t supposed to be this way i’m nearly 18 and i had so many dreams he was always the one to motivate me without that I don’t know what to do.

Hi Tabitha,

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds as if you were both were very close and you must be feeling overwhelmed right now.

An initial sense of shock is very normal. Feeling numb is one of the ways our bodies cope with distressing emotions.

You might find it helpful to read a bit more about this here: http://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement

I’m really glad you have joined this community, you’re not alone here.

Take care,


Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad suddenly in June. He died in his sleep. We were best friends and he was my rock. I’ve been thorough so many emotions; anger, fear, unbearable sadness. I used to cry for hours but now I cry for less. It’s an old cliche but things do get better in time. Remember you’ve still got your dad, he’ll always be your dad it’s just your relationship has changed. Take care of yourself, try to eat, grieving is hard work xx

Thank you Mellymo i am sorry for your loss aswell, its comforting to know others are going through similar situations. I don’t feel motivated to do anything, so i spend all day doing nothing and still feel so tired all the time, and feel hungry but then everytime i go to eat i end up eating a tiny portion and being too full x

Hi Tabitha, in the weeks after I lost my dad I had to force myself to eat. Just try and eat a little more every day. I was probably having a piece of toast and an apple a day but it was all I could manage. Eating something small is better than nothing. I felt constantly nervous, like butterflies in my stomach for weeks. I found keeping my mind occupied helped, I watched loads of TV and cleaned the house for hours. I found once the funeral was over it gave me closure. Take care of yourself X


I think it is shock and disbelief because you don’t want to believe he’s gone. I still feel as though my mum is still going to come back and even seeing her at the funeral directors before the funeral it was as though she was going to wake up. I’ve just turned 18 so know exactly how you feel, you’ve got to fulfil all of your dreams and make him proud!

Today i just feel like i’m dragging myself around, my dad has always motivated me for my work to achieve as high grades as possible, and now its nearly time to go back to sixth form to finish my A-levels which i have no motivation to do, and choose a university but as i think about it i just think about all the uni’s i talked to him about going to and thinking now i could never choose to go there. My mum keeps saying take it one day at a time, but i’m at a place in my life where the world expects me to make choices about the future.

I just sleep a lot atm as I sometimes find it hard to get to sleep but I know how you feel I can’t be bothered to do anything. I had no motivation to do my exams and didn’t want to sit them but my mum asked me to do it for her. I did and got through them and results day is tomorrow, not that I’m expecting much. I visited the unis I was interested in with her last year and made my choices based on what she liked too but decided to go to the fashion retail academy instead and she was so excited. I’m looking forward to going because she was looking forward to me going there too and I want something to do. It may take your mind off things. You don’t have to make any decisions now, I sent my UCAS off in January. Have a look at when some open days are and keep in mind where your dad would be excited to see you go. You could apply but to start in 2018 if you’re not sure and take time out until you’re ready