Want to scream

My wife was suffering with a bad back and went to our GP who diagnosed inflammation of the surrounding muscles. And inflammatory tablets didn’t work. She was booked in for physio but before that, the pain got worse to the point she couldn’t get in/out of bed, go to the toilet, shower etc without me helping.
We saw 3 other doctors who just prescribed different tablets.
Went to her physio appointment and we were told to go to the local A&E asap as he was worried about the symptoms.
When we got there, my wife had a full checkup, where they found a lump in here breast. Sent her for x-rays and scans which confirmed it was cancer. They also revealed it had spread to her liver and bones and it was terminal. When asked how long she had, expecting months/years, we were told it would be weeks.Just
We lost her last Tuesday, 33 days after her diagnosis.
My mother in law moved in with us last year and she lost her youngest when she was 5, and now her eldest at 52.
Just don’t know what to do. Thought I was prepared but I’m not. All I keep saying is how am I going to cope?
I know I have to take 1 day at a time, but all I can see is a dark tunnel that goes on forever.


Oh @Zippy that such a shock. Life is so cruel. These early days are the worst. The shock, the confusion, the why! The pain is raw and all consuming. It is painful beyond belief and you will have so many emotions.

There is no ease of pain at the moment, you just have to walk through it. Take it hour by hour, scream, shout, cry, let it all out.

You will feel exhausted, it’s a lot for your body and mind to process. Take all the help that is offered and be kind to yourself. This will take time to process but it will get easier in the months to come.

Reach out on here, there is no judgement and you can say everything that you want to say. There will be some pretty dark days but there is support here.

Take it easy.


Hi @Zippy
So sorry for your loss.
Like @Ali29 we all know what you are going through as we are going through same stages some of us further on than others.
It is nearly 6 months for myself since my husband passed and it feels like yesterday although time has moved a bit quicker.
Please do take an hour at a time cry shout do whatever it takes to get through this time. Please keep posting most people o here can talk to you to help you get through each day. We are all on this new style not what any of us wanted. We just need to try to survive each day and look after ourselves. Please take help offered from family and friends.
Take care Lynne


Zippy I feel so sorry for your loss and in your boots I would be angry too. Anger is a natural part of grieving and I have been angry with my partner of 35 years for leaving me, for not taking better care of himself, but that anger is tempered by knowing his mental health problems were at the root of his behaviour. But for you, my anger would be directed at the doctors who misdiagnosed and mistreated your darling wife, all those maybes? If the treatment had been better then things could have been so different. My deepest sympathy to you and her mother


Yep same old story ! I heard this so many times in here ! Drs spotting it too late ! Just like my husband ! Told him for 2 months nothing sinister … then they find stage3/4 bladder cancer and too late to treat :frowning: so sad for us all and our crap NHS :frowning: its gone backwards if you ask me … xx

Thanks all. I’ve thought a lot since she was diagnosed about the original GP.
Even if they had picked it up then, it would have been too late as the cancer was too advanced. The difference would have been that Tracey would have been on better medication and the family would have had longer to process.


Well i dont agree from my point of view . They left it over 2 months before they detected it … if they had known then they might have been able to treat it ? We will never know will we … thats a sad fact ;( xxx