Lost my long time partner in June everyone has been great and supportive but sometimes I just want to be alone even when the grief is overwhelming I still sometimes need to be alone am I wrong to feel like I’m being pressured to do things or see people especially when I didn’t see them before I don’t always want to be with people when I politely decline I feel bombarded with them offering other options I know they are trying to be supportive it just feels like so much pressure
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I understand, I lost my husband 2 month ago and family have been great and I understand they want to look after me and not leave me alone but I have had to be firm and tell them I do need time on my own to process things, whilst making arrangements to do things with them another time, they are starting to accept that I have to get used to my new reality, maybe you need to have a chat and explain how you feel to them, I am sure they will understand and will be happy to do what you want …take care x
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Thank you for your reply sometimes I find I need to be in my own feelings even if it is hard and painful if that makes sense
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It does make sense… everybidy processes things in their own way.there is no right or wrong way to grief…x
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Dear @Lisa5067
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my husband almost 7 months ago. Like you, early on, everbody rallied round and took me out for ‘walks’. At the time it was the last thing I wanted to do. As you mentioned I just wanted to be alone to process things.
As time has gone on, I realised that these forced walks may have stopped me from falling deeper into the sadness of my grief.
The path we are all on is torturous, and there is no right or wrong. All you can do is function day to day whilst your mind processes the shock/hurt/disbelief/loneliness.
Take care. Please keep posting if it helps.
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I have always been a introvert, my husband loved to socialize. He was my rock that I leaned on. We complemented each other. I don’t miss socializing I just miss him terribly. Sorry for your loss, it’s been 6 months today for me. So hard to believe this is my new life going forward, scary, lonely and sad. I’m so grateful for my family and friends for sure. I’m the first in my generation of family to become a widow at 67, no one can truly understand until that dreadful time finds you. Take care 
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You too, x
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I get it Lisa5067. We had been married for 42 years and I had been my husband’s carer for the last 3/4 years so I had kind of cut myself off from any kind of social life so I don’t have much of a network. We didn’t have any children either and my family is spread far and wide so I am very alone. Some days I just sit at home all day crying feeling sorry for myself as I just can’t bear it a future like this. However I also have times when I need to be completely on my own away from everything so I’ve already had 3 short holidays in 5 months in a holiday cottage in the middle of nowhere with just my dogs who get me up every day. Somehow the solitude is very healing.
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I’ve always liked being alone, but when I had my spouse, it was a different kind of alone. He was always there, somewhere around. Now, it’s alone alone and different.
I’ ve always sought out deeper meaning in life and not really a mainstream, casual person so it’s more difficult I think anyway. I think the solitude is healing right now, lots of sorting out of things.
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I’ve started getting really anxious about anything and everything is this grief I dont know. Now when someone suggests to do something or go somewhere the anxiety hits hard i just want to wallow in my grief I have no desire to to socialise or do things
I think you should honor your own feelings about things. Not pressure yourself. There is so much pressure for widows/widowers to “move on” or “move forward,” or whatever verbiage is used. I think they should do what they feel ready to do when they feel ready to do it. Some people are natural loners, too. How can they change that or should they even try?
Thanks for your reply I do feel pressured to do things when im ok to stay home by myself the anxiety about everything is starting to affect me daily
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I’m not ready to move forward. I’m still early in grief. You don’t just move forward after 40 years with your soulmate. I don’t see me ever moving forward. My partner passed suddenly 5 months ago but I hope the pain will lessen with time. Right now my heart is broken, I m lost and lonely. I cry every day.
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Norma1, I think sometimes even people grieving struggle to understand another’s feeling and grief journey, some people manage it very well, others struggle months and years down the line, we are all different.
Like you I cry most days, several times a day. I can’t see myself ever moving forward and the question of why am I even still here is the question now that even trumps ‘Why did you have to die?’
This road we are on, where does it go, where does it led to, and when does it end? In all honesty…… only time has the answer.
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I went out yesterday with my sister only for a couple of hours to be honest it was nice but why do I feel so bad about it now. I literally feel like im never going to do that again I think its guilt but I know this will stop me doing things in the future.
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It was 4 month’s yesterday that Coral died, i went out with friend’s, had a few drinks and socialised. You do feel guilty about getting on with things, but going out doesnt mean youre over it, or have stopped thinking about your partner, far from it, it just means that you are coping, functioning.
Today im really missing her, our lazy sundays, going for a walk, a nice dinner, so the times you are living a more normal life, our balanced with the days where you miss someone with every part of your body.
Thanks for your reply I am so torn between wanting to carry on and wanting to give up not really knowing what i should or shouldn’t be doing my moods switch so much im all over the place
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I feel the same, I’m 7 weeks into this unbearable situation, after my partner had a sudden cardiac arrest, losing him so suddenly has been a terrible rollercoaster. I’m struggling to go out, my anxiety is so bad at times. I never know what to do to help myself on a daily basis at the moment. I’m unable to work so am indoors alot. It’s very lonely 
but do sometimes have to be alone to process what has happened. Am thinking of you having to go through this too. Posting on here does bring comfort to me and I hope it will to you. Stay strong.
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