I am wanting to date after losing my partner two years ago, but really don’t know if I can join a dating site. I was hoping to meet someone naturally and I did meet a few men but I have found it’s harder than I thought . I am not openly looking just trying to enjoy my new life and experiences but I would like male company. I know I have set my criteria to find a partner so high but I will not settle for anything other than kindness, trust, laughter and that’s just to name the most important. I have joined various groups and met lots of people but nobody special. Everywhere I see couples and I just want to have some happiness. I am hoping there is someone special out there.
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Hi @Lyn2507 i lost my husband nearly 18 months ago. And youre so right not as easy as it sounds is it finding somebody else 
i know people want me to but its really hard … i got a male friend who i like but no no idea if its reciprocated or not cos he plays his card close to his chest
I miss my husband and wish he was here and ive cried a river over him i really have but i also know i cant bring him back either sending u love and i know just how u feel xxx
Hi Deb5
I did meet someone who I really liked and at the beginning he was so caring and thoughtful. He knew what I was going through after losing my husband and I really thought he was a genuine person. He told me he was starting to have feelings for me and this really through me as I was massively grieving. He seemed to understand and I said we would have to take it slowly. Then when I came back from my holiday with my daughters everything changed and he started cooling off.
I was starting to have feelings and this has ripped me apart and I feel I can’t trust men. My wall has gone back up and I realise this is going to be hard as I have a big trust issue. Why can’t men be honest and open. I think what I am looking for is not out there.
Take care
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Ah … i know exactly what you mean ! This guy i know blows hot and cold too and after what we been through its last thing we need isnt it ? And yeh i agree these men need to man up and be more honest with us ! I think we deserve that ! Im so disillusioned with the world ! Probably more disillusioned than i was at the beginning of this awful time for us ;( i was just heartbroken at beginning - now i just think what a world and what are people like ? I dont really understand them anymore all those years being married i guess we were in our own little world xx
Hi Debs5
I think because I had such a great husband and happy marriage I expect more. We cannot settle for just anything because what would be the point. I would rather be on my own the rest of my life than choose the wrong person.
I am experiencing my new life with my husband along side me but just miss the male company and banter. Lol
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Yeh im just same and had a good marriage too although last few years were hard as he got poorly… may i add i didnt know it would be incurable though :(,had no idea
I miss the banter and chat too ! And my husband is still very close to me too … i feel him with me … So we same there … guess we will get there one day i hope ! Somebody said to me if you think youre gonna meet someone you will ??? Dunno how true that is but i think what’s hard is that we knew what was ahead of us when we had our husbands and now we have no idea ?? ;( i find that really hard all that uncertainty xx
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My husband died 3 years ago and I don’t want to feel this lonely and frightened for the rest of my life, but I don’t know if I am ready to meet someone else. I feel guilty and also how could a new partner measure up to my hubby. On the other hand even a half as good relationship would be good for company and to do things with. To not be alone when you shut the front door.
I still wear my wedding ring which hasn’t been off my finger since hubby put it on in church. Maybe not ready and not being fair to a potential partner where I don’t want to let go of hubby. How do you know when you are ready and being fair to the other party??
I have thought of dating sites but too frightened of not meeting someone genuine. I go out a lot in the hope of meeting someone naturally to start as a friendship but I only seem to meet up with other ladies who become friends.
I’m confused and wanting to move forward but not sure I’m being fair or balanced about it yet?
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any time is the right time but do be careful of the online dating sites, most are a con, they charge you the earth to join and you dont know who you are talking to, . try joining places where you meet people face to face.
you are not trying to replace the person you spent yrs with just getting another person in your life.
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@SueF1 thank you for your words of encouragement.
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I thought about dating. And realised it has been so long that my experience of being “single” technically is out of date. I had given up on dating when I met my beloved husband. We were friends first then dated 5 years then married for 14 years. So we knew each other in total 25+ years. I simply don’t have the time left to do that, even if I met someone I could be friends with. I feel that finding “the one” was for once. I don’t think it is true for everyone. My husband’s dad had married again after his Mum died. I think for me it is a lack of trust. I had so many bad experiences when I was young and naive I had given up thinking there was someone out there. So meeting my husband was very special and sweet. He was so lovely and if there is another like him maybe they are destined for another woman who has not experienced that good relationship yet!
I am not greedy for a man in my life. But I do like men’s company and conversation.
They talk about nerd stuff and I like that. That and a sense of humour.
I am describing my husband of course. It always goes back to him.
One of my friends thinks I will date again.
I don’t think so. Even if I did feel “ready” what does that even feel like?
Percentage chance of that for me:
Single man. Right age. Non smoker. Shared beliefs. Etc…
For me I think the chances of that are about 0.0%
But I believe in love and hope for those who should love again it is a blessing and a joy.
9 months on … i have met somebody…
. im really happy with him and absolutely adore him tbh. … hes brought joy into my life again and i really needed that xx
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Lucky you, well done 
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Thank you xxx
Wonderful to hear. Long may it continue.
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Thanks for that xx
Pompom, I miss female company you are so right, women think differently to men, this is a compliment. I enjoy other men’s company, One of my male friends and his wife went out for an evening meal ant then back to their place for a couple of drinks, while he was out the room I said to his wife that it had been very pleasant evening as her company had changed the whole experience. I said a little bit of ( her name ) had made the difference. She said don’t you mean a little bit of Monica and all thee of us laughed. ( From Mambo no 5 )
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