Wanting to die, as my mum has passed away.

Hi im Kev, ive just recently lost my mum. I cared for her for many years but now she has passed away :broken_heart:
Ive lost interest in totally everything and all i want to do is die so that i can still be with her. Im lost, beaten and broken :broken_heart: no words can change what im going through. My mum was my world and now its all gone. Life is shit and i no longer wish to be a part of this meaningless life. There is no greater love than a son has for his mother.

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Hello Kev,

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. Although I know no words can take away the pain you are in, I just want you to know that you are not alone. Many of our members have sadly experienced the death of their mum and will understand some of what you’re going through.

It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:

https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, @Kag1, get in touch with one of these services.

Take good care,
Seaneen

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Oh Kev im so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum 8 months ago after caring for her full time in the final year so I totally understand those feelings of not wanting to be here, that life is pointless and meaningless. I also felt angry at the universe in general that i was left here to carry on - it felt like a kind of torture.

If your caring role was anything like mine, it became my whole existence, we were together pretty much 24/7 so when she died my whole reason for being had gone, it felt like part of my very soul had been ripped away :broken_heart:

How long ago did you lose your Mum? I think in the early days and weeks all you can do is hang on by your fingernails and get through one day, one hour at a time (even though your mind may be screaming why bother). Do you have the support of any family/friends around you? You’re not alone in what you’re feeling - having like minded people around you really helps. Your local area may have support groups for carers or recently bereaved - its worth looking online or asking at your doctors surgery.

It is common in grief to feel like you want to go and be with your loved one - ive certainly thought it many times. But if those thoughts become overwhelming please reach out to any of the helplines Seaneen has mentioned, and speak to your GP. :people_hugging:

Please keep posting - you will find many people on here who’ve experienced loss and we all just try and hold each other up as best we can. It has been a real lifeline for me to be able to completely honest about how im feeling.

Sending hugs and strength :heart::people_hugging::heart:

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I felt the same. I imagined a red button and green and if I hit the red, I would die in the night. that was 2016. both my loving mom and dad are gone. but I think they would not want that for us. we will die and join them, soon enough. i am trying to make the most of the time I have left, trying. it is not easy. but I and many others know how you feel. each day we keep living is a triumph.

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today I am sleep deprived and all day I think of my mom and dad. I think about them daily and miss them everyday.

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Thankyou for all the kind words from all. Its a struggle daily. My mum passed away just over a month ago now, but still feels like it was yesterday :cry: :sleepy: :broken_heart:, my dad passed away 22 years ago and i never went through what I am going through now with loosing my mum :broken_heart:
I have became a recluse and lost interest in everything, my whole world has gone :broken_heart:
One day alone is a nightmare. Im trying daily to get through and i still feel like life is meaningless now :sleepy:

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honestly, I think this is normal. if you were happy and uplifted, you would not be grieving. you are grieving. your feelings are on the mark. problem is it is something we have to endure. in a few years, it will ease. when we hide, we need to because in grief, the world is TOO much. this is also normal and smart.

I loved traveling. took six years to be interested in traveling again.

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