was coping but lost the plot

Hi everyone, I’ve been doing quite well since my husband died suddenly in May, better than I ever expected really & I have tried to tell you all it does improve. Today the car wouldn’t start and that was IT. I am so tired, so tired trying, it’s all so unfair. I’ve mended fences , painted rooms, sorted out the toilet, TV, boiler . laptop and now the car wont go. I miss him so much I don’t want to do this single thing any more. I thought I was doing well but it’s all there bubbling away just under the surface Will it ever go away?

hi fleur im very sorry for your loss .My wife died in March it takes as long as it takes im also struggling big time .I take each day as it comes i dont plan anything massive friend hug Colini hope i helped

Hi Fleur

Sorry to hear your day has been rubbish too. My year is rapidly turning into an annus horribilis. First my friends father, then my lovely mum and then her best friend all passed away in the space of a few months. Found out today by chance a dear friend has breast cancer and is having surgery in a fortnight.

Not sure how much more can happen, life feels such s**t today.


Mel & Colin, many thanks for listening & the hug !
Now found out Paul’s Dad has died, as you say *** year. Still I’m up and going again this morning. We must be masochists 'cos now I’m waiting to be knocked down again. One day at a time. Yesterday I wanted to hit the car with a tree like Basil in Fawlty towers but I didn’t know where the saw was to cut a branch off so perhaps today I’ll look for it for future use !
I am so grateful for you all listening. I write to Paul every day but he never writes back.
New resolution for today , I will find 1 good thing each day . They do say crying is good for you.
My thoughts to all

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Hi I’m feeling the same way my mum died in may and I was doing ok keep busy dealing with everything cause my dad has parkingsons so dealing with caring for him to but suddenly I’m a mess can’t cope with the smallest things I don’t know what to do so I really do feel for you hope you feel better

hi Fleur i agree its a rollercoster journey up 1 day down the next .It takes as long as it takes unfortunately .Im not saying this next bit of advice to offednd you please forgive me if i do .Writing letters to Paul maybe you could give yourself a break from that ? v v v sorry please dont be angry .We are both suffereing in different ways another massive friendship hug Colin

Hello Jaynos, I see that this is your first post here, so I want to welcome you to our Online Community.
You have certainly had a very difficult year, having to cope with the death of your dear mother and then your aunt. It must be really tough too having the responsibility of caring for your father, so I am not surprised that you are feeling your life is out of control.
I am sure that your Mum would now want you to start looking after yourself, as well as your Dad. Just take things slowly, and don’t bottle up your feelings - perhaps you could tell a friend how difficult it is for you getting through each day. I am thinking of you, with kind regards, Jackie

Thanks to everyone for getting back to me. Your support is invaluable .I am up and running again today ; well not quite running but back coping better. I now expect dark days when least ready but I will get through , as I know all you will. It doesn’t make life happy or normal but then again perhaps this is the new normal.
Colin , you suggested not writing to Paul but at the moment the thing I miss is his being there to talk to.It’s not the same with family , no matter how good they are, it was the bond we two had .As you all will appreciate. So at the moment writing notes to him is my crutch; the notes are getting shorter so in a sense , you could be right .
As for Christmas, my daughter in law is taking us all away as she said she couldn’t stand it without Paul. I dread both situations; it is just somethnig else to get through
I’m trying not to worry about it, as I panic about lots of other stuff .
Big big thank you all for your kindness in being there for me when you all have your own tears. xx

Thank you for your kind words I am just feeling so overwhelmed and tired try to do all this and my family I also have 3 teenagers I just feel like I’m losing the plot