Does anybody else ever question if it was really their loved one that died?
My husband died abroad, due to the amount of time that passed it was a closed coffin, his passport was lost in transit and sometimes the thought crosses my mind. Obviously deep down I know it was but my mind wanders at times.
When my husband died I saw him in the coffin, held the funeral etc… But deep down I still wondered if he’d just decided to go & live somewhere else & everyone knew, I didn’t tell anyone as I thought they’d think I was going bonkers but since then I’ve heard other people say similar things, it’s like your brain is trying to deny the reality of what has happened, must be much more difficult for you though with the closed coffin & the lost passport.
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I was with my husband when he died, watched him take his last breath. But I still occasionally wonder if it was really him, if somehow it was a doppelganger and he is still alive. It is one thing to know a fact, another to accept it. Our brains just say no, this cannot be true. Grief is like a form of madness, our thoughts can become completely irrational.
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I was also with my husband when he died but still feel he’ll come back even though I know how ridiculous this is. I just don’t think I’ve completely accepted that he’s gone. J x
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It does take a while to accept. It’s been 2 plus years for me and the first year I always got two mugs out to make tea for both of us and waited for his key in the door when he came home at lunchtime. Even when my sons and I comforted each other I would say - he’ll be back soon which now thinking about it probably upset them more. Anyway he’ll never leave my heart 
Much love
Georgina
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