Today, hanging the washing out I was reminded again how much I miss my hubby shirts on the line. Shortly after he passed, I said to a “friend” and neighbour how much I missed seeing his shirts. Her response with a laugh was - what are you going to do? Just keep them and hang them out from time to time? (Not her only naff comment) That broke me and still does. It certainly broke our “friendship"
G. X
I was thinking that too when I was hanging out washing. Only my clothes on the line now. I used to moan about the ironing too as it was mostly his stuff that needed it. What I wouldn’t give now for a big pile of his ironing. Six months in and not feeling any better.
Grandma,
Hello Grandma,
I’m a grandma too and send my condolences for your loss.
I’m so sorry that you lost your husband. This woman is a callous b*tch and not worth yours or anyone else’s time. What a truly disgusting remark!!
Norma1
Hello Norma,
My husband passed on 4.4.26, so still very early days. I feel the same as you. None of his clothes in the washing now, just mine. When I came home from the hospice after he died all his things were in the house and visible. I had to put them in bags just to make the place liveable, but it is barely so, even now. I cannot sleep in the bed upstairs where he used to lie with me, so the best I can do is bring down a pillow and duvet and try to sleep for a few hours in the chair. Mornings are vile. I wake up and for a split second everything is normal. Then I remember that he is gone. Unendurable.
sorry for your loss but i dont see anything wrong with the comment, sort of thing i would have said myself. its not disrespectful,
I survived on about 2 hours sleep just after my partner died suddenly. All kinds of crazy thoughts racing through my brain. At six months I sleep a bit better now but I’m jolted awake by adrenaline in the morning. I try to fight it but end up getting up which makes the day too long. Your so very early on in your grief, probably still in shock. You might begin to experience numbness for a while which is the brain’s way of trying to shut down the pain. Everyone is different. Do what feels comfortable for you. If you have support make use of it, you’ll probably find your emotions changing from day to day. Take care and sorry for your loss.
I actually considered hanging out my deceased partner’s tops. Grief makes you crazy. It doesn’t take much to send you over the edge. The neighbour was thoughtless and the comment clumsy.
Thankyou, Norma - it wasn’t her only “naff” comment, and maybe I was feeling oversensitive at the time but it felt right for me to distance myself. This is a horrible journey we’re on isn’t it?
G. X
Well I do not know what my neighbour thought because I wore my husband’s tea shirts after he died because they fitted me then which was three and half years ago. I washed them so hung them in the washing line. Also his shirt sleeve shirts around the house. He had hardly wore them.I felt close to him in them. I still wear some of his stretchy jumpers. There are some shirts I need to wash of his as the collars and cuffs are dirty. Can’t donate them like that. Might chop sleeves to short because they will not fit anyone else long as he had them shortened as he had short arms.