Watching dad is like daily torture

Hi, my dad is dying of cancer of the throat and lungs and as of recent he has had a few episodes which may indicate it is effecting his brain. My dad was not expected to last Christmas 2021 since then we were deserted and I really had to shout loud to get him and my mum some support., he’s now been given months.
I am so angry with absolutely everything even fresh air! I am angry at the system for letting him down( previous biopsy with no follow up) with dad for going to leave me ( how selfish am I ) and just life for being so cruel. I work full time and also have a family of 4 at home. I travel 15 miles 3 times a week to support parents at home and do some medical care. I don’t mind any of that I would do anything, the bit I am struggling with is each time I go it’s like I feel an horrendous pain in my chest I can’t shift like I am being tortured and I know it’s hurt. I won’t let my parents see my grief as I am supporting them both.
Is this anger normal some days it consumes me and makes me feel like the worst person in the world?


Hi @Sarahd2,

Thank you for starting this thread and for being so honest about how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to read about your Dad’s cancer and what you are going through as a family at the moment. That is so very difficult - rest assured, the way you are feeling is not uncommon.

I just wanted to reach out to share a link to some information and resource pages on our website which you might find helpful given what you are all experiencing and processing at the moment.

Also, I’m not sure if there is a local hospice or Maggie’s centre close to where your parents live but if there is, it might be worth contacting them for support?

I hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support - please keep on reaching out and know you do not need to struggle alone.

Take care,

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Hi, how brave you are for writing about your feelings and yes what you are going through will give you these feelings and emotions. Life can be cruel and we have to put a brave face but please be kind to yourself. Give yourself room to let these emotions out and hopefully the anger will subside.
You must be a very strong lady to do all you are doing and knowing what the outcome is going to be is so very hard. Megan has suggested things and I do hope the hospice team or McMillan team are involved because they can also give you and your mum the support you need now and also in the future. Look after yourself and stay safe. S xx