Watching Emmerdale

I watched Emmerdale on catch up and although some of it was painful, the part where Laurel is having a conversation with Ashley in a dream gave me some comfort. I imagined it was my husband talking to meand telling me to be strong.

Just thinking of what we were doing last Easter, chilling really and my husband was enjoying his break, I was due to start a temp job in May, which I was looking forward to. My brother in law is coming to my sisters today for a visit, my sister passed 7 weeks ago, so at least there will be someone who really understands how I feel.

I am trying to be more positive, I wake up feeling sick and the mornings are the worst. I have written a list of what I have achieved since my husband died last August, a list of what I enjoy and a list of what I want to do. I am going to read these lists when I feel down. Over the last few days I have gradually felt better as the day has gone on. Yesterday I felt normal or myself for the afternoon and evening. The relief was immense after all the angst. I suppose it is unrealistic to expect to feel that all the time but at least it is possible. I usually love Easter and Spring but of course it doesnt feel the same this year, but I will try to make the best of it and give some comfort to my brother in law who is still in the early stages of grief. I agree with Neil I find I try to just keep to the day, or hour sometimes as it is the only way to cope.

I sent my best wishes to you all and hope you get some good patches as well.