I have just had an intense wave of grief
I think I have just realised I will never see my husband again we will never beable to enjoy things together
We will never laugh together
Our life higher has just flashed on front of me 25 years of love and total security never worrying we would ever by parted from each other
Never again will I have that first kiss in the morning and that last kiss at night .
One of my greatest achievement was been a wife and a mother
I was so proud of my husband he was to me the most amazing man in the world
I cannot imagine life without him
This last 3 weeks since Ian has past has been the longest in 25 years that we have been apart
I miss him so so much
My heart aches for him
I feel the same way. I had never gone for more than a couple of weeks without a hug. It hurts more each day. I just want a hug from him.
Hello to you both, I know that feeling and even now I miss him so much but sometimes it is like being hit by an express train and you know that life without our soulmate will never be the same and it hurts.
We have a leather three piece and his chair still seems to smell of him, time for a few tears. Keep safe. S xx
perhaps as the initial numb/logistics/paperwork wanes reality began to set in: our love ones, soulmates, our lives have left us forever; the kisses, the hugs, the kind words, the simple but joyful moments, the bittersweet memories we shared, are all behind us. We are left with a future we have to face alone, a world so strange and intimidating. That’s really hurting me now.
I am sorry for your loss. My wife of 34 years died suddenly and unexpectedly in March and I haven’t had a day or night without crying. I will be trying to do something and a wave of emotions will hit me, mostly grief but anger, sadness, frustration and any other emotion that you can think of. I am caring for MIL who has dementia alone now and if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t even try. I have to feed her 3 meals a day because of diabetes too but I can barely even think of eating myself. I hate being alone and never expected it at this stage of life. Everything you said is the kind of thoughts I have and I feel for you. It would be great if this was something nobody ever had to go through but we know it isn’t true. I miss her more each day and always will hopefully this will end soon for me.
I’m sorry for your loss. My wife passed away 8 weeks ago after a long illness. I go through all the emotions every day. It’s worse now than when she passed away. After 40 years we still sat on the settee holding hands we held hands whenever we went out. I can’t bear to think that won’t happen again. I just want to turn the clock back. A good friend has lost two brothers over the last few years , she promised me I will eventually learn to live with the grief. I’m not sure if I believe her.
We’re all in the same boat. We’re not alone.
I am sorry for your loss as well and as my neighbor said when I told him about my wife, of all the married couples he knew my wife and I actually like each other. We were just as happy sitting on our deck playing Scrabble as we were doing nothing as long as we were together. We lost so much in the last 18 months and we were looking forward to our alone time after her mother eventually passes from dementia. But now I am alone alone. I dread every night not that the days are better but I hate being alone at night. I go to bed crying I wake crying and I cry throughout the day. I don’t know how I am supposed to keep going without her.
I feel your grief John. I never wanted to be on my own. But it’s happened and we need to find a way through it. I don’t know how at this moment in time but we have to believe that we we can learn to live with it. I wish she was here because she would know what to say. She was my rock.
I think talking and knowing we’re not on our own helps.
Take care of yourself
I felt the same about my wife she was my anchor and she kept me grounded and I am actually afraid now she is gone. She was my world, my everything, my best friend and I don’t believe I am going to be here long because I have no hopes or dreams anymore. I am empty inside and it’s just too much too soon with the past 18 months so much bad has happened I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Sorry I haven’t been here but as the saying goes the hits just keep on coming. After losing “our” last dog on June 10 2021 I had been caring for MIL who had dementia and she died in August and then my loving wife’s aunt had 2 mini strokes in September and 1 of my loving wife’s cousins texted me that he was having some issues breathing and had a bunch of tests and needed a bypass and a pacemaker. He almost died and sadly I thought why didn’t my wife get the warning he got but he is doing okay all considered. 2 weeks ago another of my loving wife’s cousins died suddenly and she was only 38 and had 3 children although not that it makes it easy the youngest is 17. All of this just keeps beating me down and makes it so hard to keep going.
I know how it can feel to keep having things hit you. We had a family member diagnosed as terminally ill just after my husband died. Then my Aunty died. My mother has declined badly and my MIL is now worse than my mother because of the death of her son. There is only one path for both my mother and MIL so I know that things are going to get far worse before they can even begin to get better. I don’t even see how they can get better to be fair. I don’t understand why some people just seem to get hit again and again and how we keep going. Take care
I have said the same thing, I don’t want anyone to suffer or have to deal with this kind of pain but why do some get more to deal with than others.
We will learn to live with it, but there are definitely times when it doesn’t feel that way. Right now, in the early hours, I feel that I will never recover.
I know it’s not true, the grief plays a trick on our minds.
Yes, I guess that is why it is called grief brain or brain fog. All I know is I can’t function like I used to and really don’t care about much anymore. I actually feel like a zombie just waiting until someone “spikes” me in the head and puts me out of my misery.
I hear you, I am definitely less sharp mentally, I think you can’t process all that pain and think at the same time.
Some days are better than others.