Hello I’m new to this site, I sadly lost my husband on the 8th October. After a long battle with bowel cancer.
I feel so very lost, the lump in my throat is there all the time. The waves of emotion are up and down. How do people cope? X
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Hello louxox,
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. My wife died suddenly on the 7th of October and I am feeling the same way.
I have no family for support and I am really struggling to cope but I have found this site to be a great comfort to me. Everyone on here has been so kind and helped me through some really difficult times.
All of us on here have lost loved ones and I think it is true that only those who have lost someone they love can really understand the pain and agony we are all going through.
I have tried to cope by going out and being with people as much as I can. I can’t stand the loneliness of being at home on my own. My wife and I were together for forty years and I just can’t get used to being alone.
I have joined a men’s support group which has helped a little. It is not a bereavement group but It’s company and it gets me out of the house. Although I am not religious, my local branch of the Salvation Army has a lunch club and a coffee morning once a week so I have been going to that as well.
Not everyone’s the same but I do find it helps to talk about my wife. It’s as if by talking about her it keeps her memory alive. I think I have bored what friends I have by doing that but we are always here to listen and chat about our loved ones.
I hope you will keep coming back here. We are all here for you anytime you want to talk.
Sending you a hug,
Dave.
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Hello louxox
I am new to this site also, I lost my husband of 33 years suddenly on the 23rd October. He should not have died, he was getting better, then suddenly he was gone.
The physical pain I felt was actually unbearable, I have sleeping tablets that I take but only on my worse days, I have panic attacks and suffer with anxiety, things that have never bothered me before.
I haven’t really slept soundly since, I need to sort through his things but I just can’t do it, I’m hoping I can use this site just to find some togetherness
So so sorry for your loss
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Hello Iliveinhope,
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and the pain you are going through. I went through the same agony when my wife died suddenly on the 7th of October and I still am. She was only 57. My GP has given me antidepressants but they are not doing me any good.
I sorted through some of my wife’s clothes but it was too much and too soon. I couldn’t bear it.
This site has been a great comfort to me. Everyone on here has been so kind. I wouldn’t have been able to cope at all without their help.
Please keep coming back. We are all going through the same nightmare and we understand what you are going through. x
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Thank you Dave for your kind words, and I’m so sorry for your loss of your wife.
Life is so very unfair and so cruel to take the good ones and leave such horrible people out there.
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Hello
I’m so very sorry for your loss too, it’s all so very unfair.
I’m not sleeping very well either, I have so many waves of emotion. And feel wish it was all such a bad dream
I just cannot get my head around it, thank you for taking the time to message me. It’s nice to know there’s people who are going through the same thing and understand what you are going through 
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Iliveinhope, I am so sorry that your husband died. It is a nightmare, isn’t it? What you described as your experiences since his death is very normal. We are right there too.
Sorting their things is just downright awful. I managed to get my husband’s office cleared but when I walk into his closet, I get overwhelmed and have to exit quickly.
Don’t pressure yourself. Make a decision on 5 of his things each day, keep, toss, donate. At the end of the week take the donations to where ever. You will make 150 decisions in a month and it won’t be so taxing. Baby steps is how we do this.
Much love.
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Thank you louxox, that’s very kind of you and you are right about life being so unfair.
I am at six weeks and just recently I have started to get envious to the point of being annoyed when I see couples either my age or older out and about together.
A friend visited today who is 86. He was telling me all about his night out last night with his wife and how he met up with two other couples who are all in their 80s.
My wife was 57 when she died and I am 58. The unfairness of it all is hard to take.
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First of all i am so sorry for everyones losses , i lost my wife on 4th oct and i pick up her ashes tomorrow, its not easy , my house was full of medical equipment and a hospital bed as well as a wheelchair …its all gone and just an empty space remains , its hard to put into words the emptyness . I hope you all find comfort .
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Hello Davekilf.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your wife. I lost my wife on the 7th of October. Lillian was 57 and we had been together for forty years. She died suddenly of a blood clot.
I know how the emptiness feels. I am still in shock that Lillian has gone and I can’t bear the loneliness.
it’s traumatic but I hope you will find some comfort once you have your wife’s ashes with you. I talk to Lillian all the time. It helps.
Please keep coming back here. Everyone is so kind and supportive and we all truly understand what it’s like to go through this nightmare.
Keeping you in my thoughts,
David.
Hello Davekilf
I’m so very sorry for your loss, I too lost my wonderful husband on the 8th October. He too had a medical bed, wheel chair and other things everything is so empty at the moment. I only managed to empty is hospital bag alittle while ago. It’s all so very unfair.
Everyone on here have been so kind, and it gives you comfort your not alone and so many people also are going though the same as you
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