We do what we can with what we have...

Coping with bereavement
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I received the following in my inbox this morning from Christina Rasmussen (author). I thought it was worth sharing…

Dear Kate,
Today’s letter was not coming.

A day such as this, had never happened before.

For the last 520 Fridays, every week, without a miss, a letter would always come through for you. Today was different.

It was as if it was trying to get me to notice the silence. The quiet.

I’m sitting here just waiting to write.

Maybe this is what was needed today.

You see, the only reason I have had the courage to write this letter for the last ten years, was because I never thought I was the one writing it.

I was just the transcriber.

It was God. The universe. The energy. The force.

Everything but me.

And today after 520 Fridays the letter didn’t show up.

I was left here alone, sitting. Looking for the words.

Thinking to myself, what if it doesn’t show up.

What will I send?

So after sitting here for hours I just started writing about this moment.

Right here.

After all, it has always been about what is.

Hasn’t it?

And trusting that.

Not questioning if it is enough.

It is what it is.

Have I ever told you that at the cemetery where my husband is buried, right across from him is a headstone that says it is what it is. In big letters.

So every time I would visit I had to read it. It was right there staring at me.

At first I would get mad. Angry.

How fitting. In a cemetery.

It is what it is.

I must have read it a thousand times.

At some point I started to agree. I had to.

What else was left for me to do.

It was what it was.

So wherever you are, if you are feeling that you don’t have what you need, do what I did today.

I took what was here and trusted that it was enough.

We do what we can, with what we have.

That has always served me well, especially during the hardest days of my life. (Click to tweet!)

Put one foot in front of the other.

And one more thing.

Even if all I got today was to tell you how much I care, and how much you mean to me I would have sent it with just those words.

And it would have been enough.

With all I have, and everything I am,

Christina

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Now Kate, if ever there were words of wisdom it’s that’s one. I have often talked about words hurting or being uplifting. Every word of that letter that was not sent, was so uplifting. ‘It is what it is’ reverberates so strongly with me. ‘What is’ is what has to be at this moment. Someone said to me ‘look at the second hand of your watch. The moment between each second is the now. It’s the only time we have and even that is lost a second later’. We can so easily dwell in the past or look forward, but who really knows.
There is an old church clock in a village near me. Inscribed round the clock are the words ‘Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be’. In this life or the next, the best is surely waiting ‘to be’.
‘God, the universe. The energy. The force’.
YES YES that’s it. It sums up what I have been trying to say. Nothing is ever lost. No ‘thing’ is ever lost. The essence, the energy goes on. Julian of Norwich, a medieval nun said, ‘All is well, all manner of things are well’. On this site all manner are things do not seem well, but she meant ‘That it is what it is’, what it’s meant to be.
Thanks Kate. Love and Blessings.

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Christina uses simple words Jonathan, but she gets her point across. xx

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When Jimmy was told he had terminal cancer he said those words “It is what it is”. He died 14 days later. I say those words often.

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That’s what Tim used to say all the time, I’ve got a fridge magnet with those words x

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image
Don’t know why it’s come out like that :roll_eyes:

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Oh dear. I had to turn my computer on it’s side to read that!!! :grinning: :grinning: :grinning: :grinning: Yup,‘it is what it is’ and there’s not darn thing we can do about it.
Take care. John.

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