I hope i am not digging a hole for myself when i state this but…we of the older generation dont like, or dont take kindly to change, well this was definetly me and Richard, we were from the older generation…and when one loses our hubby-wife-partner, change is inevitable to take place and we dont want our life to change from the comfortable and everyday life we once shared with our loved one on our day to day basis, so the loss of our loved one leaves a deep and long lasting hole, a void in our now lives…We- know i have to move on, move forward but it fills me with dread and such sadness that my Richard for the first time in 20 years of moving home both together, this time i will be having to do this alone, as and when it happens, without my Richard by my side, and this i am finding absolutely heartbreaking…more so as i keep reflecting on the day we first set up our so called " forever home…" some 20 years ago when we both had our health, were fitter and a tad younger, although we met in later life, Richard being 54, me being 48…and back then we set up home with our three dogs, oh what i would give to have this life back but not if it meant landing up in this same lonely and heartbreaking situation but oh how i would make every day count, i would not waste one single day knowing what i know now…all three dogs have now gone to the rainbowsbridge, my Richard has gone and i am the only one left, well with PP-MS my time too i am sure is limited…but hand on heart i was meant, or i always assumed, i would go before him…well seems our God has a different plan…
Jackie…
Jackie…