We survive

Well bean out back home to what, a cold bed, an emptiness

So tired of all of this no one there to come home to you leave, something on the floor, still on the floor when you return. So lonely, it overwhelms you.

When I’m out my mind is tricked into thinking that it’s just like it was and he is back at home. Obviously I know he’s not but it gives the tiniest bit of respite. But, like you say, every time I go home it’s horrible. My house that was a home is empty. Sending hugs

Home, is where the heart used to be ,the heart that was there, is sadly no longer there. Take care.

Home was being in his arms and I so wish I could feel his hug again.

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Alright Pete, I totally get what you’re talking about and can empathise with this.
Every time I return home from doing whatever it starts hitting me as I approach our house.
It’s five months on now and it hasn’t changed yet, take care Pete.

And yourself, it’s a slow walk home, after work these days. May all of you here , get some peace.

When I’m home I don’t want to leave, when I’m out I don’t want to come home. I drive for miles and miles, sometimes hundreds, rather than go home. I’ll go to service stations miles away to drink coffee& just sit. Beware the 2 hr parking rule & subsequent tickets, I now have a collection.
When my husband was here I would look up at the house, it seemed to be so warm and welcoming, usually with lights blazing. Now it’s a dark place I drive up to, it looks sad, lonely & unloved now, just like me.

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Not long after my wife died I spoke to a gentleman I know who had lost his wife and he said to me that going through this is horrific, at the time I agreed without really knowing what he meant as how I feel right now must be what he was on about, as I’m sure yourself, myself and many other people who have been or going through this terrible time do.
What he also said was that the best thing he did was move house.
I’m not suggesting that is the answer to you or anybody else or myself just because t has worked for him.
We are all different and at this moment I don’t want to leave where I am as I feel I would be leaving my beautiful wife behind somehow.
I’ve wrestled with this so many times and often late into the night as I don’t only have myself to consider but one conclusion I have drawn is that no matter where I am my wife will always be with me.
No place or person can take away what I feel about her, what we have done together, basically our life together.
I hope you all sleep well and have a good day tomorrow.
Take care.

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It’s hard - I feel like moving a long way away. I guess it’s sort of like leaving the reality behind but I know it would also be leaving my support network behind. I can’t at the moment as I need to stay in my job and there are other considerations. What I do know is that home was being in my husband’s arms so nowhere I go will ever be home again.

I travelled a lot after my Robbie passed the day after his funeral I got in our recently purchased motorhome and just went on a road trip because we had it planned, it was the hardest but beat thing I could have done at the time. But eventually I had to come home because I realised I wasn’t gonna find him. On coming home I started the who grief process again which was exceptionally hard. I still cry when I go out and then drive home again as I know he won’t be their, every evening, every weekend to relieve the whole process of he won’t be coming home. 3 months on its getting a little easier, I am gonna renovate the house as we had planned as I know this will remind me of him and he would want the house done like we planned.

I feel a bit better when I’m away but I guess I can run but I can’t hide.

I know exactly how you feel. Just wish I have my husband back. Very difficult finding local people to get together with that feel the same & understand. Group meetings are needed for people like us.

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I also drive for miles and miles just to get out of the house and often go 20 miles or more for a coffee. My husband died nearly 3 years ago from two different cancers and I nursed him through out and the pain and sadness of losing him is unbearable. We have 2 grown up children who have been wonderful to me and they miss their dad very much. I wake up with a dread each morning and have tried everything and anything to feel at peace but i don’t seem able to.
I follow a ritual get up, cup of tea, wash, put some make up on and pretend that i am fine to the outside world. Often think of the Dusty Springfield song…I just don’t know what to do with myself…


Dear @Kingfisher
I’ve only been a member of this ‘sad club’ for just over 7 months. You are 3 years into this and still hurting and lonely and lost. How can anyone bear such profound sadness & heartbreak.
I can’t do this for years, I can’t pretend for much longer, never mind years.
I don’t even think I’m passed the denial stage, this is indeed the biggest thing that’s ever happened in our lives & the person who could get you through it is the one you’ve lost.
I’m a widow, I’m an orphan and nothing else.

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I know what you mean Maigret - it’s jus SO exhausting all of the time with no end and no ‘reward’ in sight. Take care


Oh Maigret I feel exactly like you, it is horrible

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Was sent this today, I think from another forum

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