My dear wife died in August and it’s been an awful few months since. Our wedding anniversary is approaching on 6th December, and I’m wondering what to do. I feel I need to mark it in as positive a way as possible. I had thought of going to Cromer, my wife’s favourite coastal town, where we shared so many good times, but I wonder if this might be more painful, underlining the sense of loss, than comforting. If anybody has any ideas I would be grateful to hear.
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Hi Aubrey, I always do what you are considering, although not Cromer, nice though it is.
I tootle off to somewhere special to Penny and I. Very often a favourite beach in Anglesey, watch the dogs going berserk chasing each other and digging holes!
I talk to her about our time together, and smile at the memories
Occasionally, I might have a teary moment, but I soon dispel them by smiling at our happy memories.
Some things are better being faced, so they heal. Avoiding them isn’t helpful at all.
Enjoy the crabs at Cromer😉
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Thanks Tykey. I’ve certainly been looking at a lot of our Cromer photographs and feel somehow drawn to the place. I will definitely give it more consideration.
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Aubrey, go. You can always leave if it is too hard to be in Cromer. However, the trip may be just the thing that quells fear of traveling alone which we all must face eventually.
I wish you the best.
Love.
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Hi Aubrey
I think you should go. If it’s too much you can always come home. There’s also the possibility that you will enjoy reminiscing the happy times spent there with your wife and you won’t know until you do it.
I’m sure if it’s something you used to do together, then she’ll be beside you all the way.
What’s the worst that can happen - you feel thoroughly miserable and bereft. I imagine that like the rest of us, you feel that anyway every day at home.
I hope you decide to take the risk and have the best day possible in the circumstances. xx
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Good points. I’m in a house in which awful memories of Deb’s passing and last two years of suffering are still very strong. We were on the point of moving to Cromer when she was diagnosed with the cancer - which was when her hip fractured and she decided to stay where we are as she felt too ill to move. There are still full packing boxes here - we were actively looking at properties. Cromer is only associated with happy memories and it might prove helpful to go back. We laughed so much there and it was where we were headed to live. Thank you.
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Hello @Aubrey ,
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife that brings you here.
I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to take a look at our article on coping with important dates which you might find helpful.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Abi
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