Wedding anniversary

Hi,
Today is my 21st wedding anniversary. The first since Martin died and the first we’ve ever been apart. I’ve really tried to stay philosophical through all of this, accepting that this should be really hard. We’re designed to love and to grieve. But this is so so cruel. At least give me one happy memory that doesn’t immediately get wiped out by the pain and regret. If I can’t build any new happy memories with him, at least don’t distort and take away the ones I have!

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@Stillhiswife
I do hope the good memories will override these bad ones soon. It’s hard to see beyond what has happened isn’t it but as the months and years go on I hope we’ll recollect the wonderful times we were lucky enough to share with our loved ones?
It’ll be my 30th anniversary in May and I’m dreading it.
Sending hugs xxx

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Thanks @KarenF.
Everyone says ‘at least’ you have all those happy memories. And then like it isnt bad enough my brain takes those too.
Btw i hereby give permission to any bereaved person to punch me right in the face if I ever try to console them with a sentence that starts with ‘at least’ :slightly_smiling_face:
Sending you a hug back xx

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It’s our wedding anniversary today, 54 years, my husband passed away suddenly in November 2022. Today is so hard not having him here to celebrate with me. I just keep reliving ours vows, till death do us part and crying. Everyday seems to get harder because I know he’s not coming back and I miss him so much.

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@Jane18
But we know we don’t just love and honour ‘until death us do part’ don’t we?
Sending you hugs.
Karen xxx

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Hi all, just on case this helps anyone else…I made it through my first wedding anniversary without Martin. Yes it was completely awful. I cried and wailed and let myself be completely overwhelmed with all the emotions that happened. I wrote to him. I went for a reeeally long walk. No great epiphany. Just survived. And that has to mean something…not sure what exactly but we’re still here :slightly_smiling_face:.
Sending love to all of you on this truly sh*tty journey Xxx

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Sending hugs @Stillhiswife, well done for surviving this one. xxx

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Well today is the 2nd Anniversary without my husband. 52 years, a lifetime, cant believe still he is not with me. This second year is harder than the first. Everything was such a haze having to go through every special day without him, his birthday ,my birthday, the childrens and grandchildrens birthdays as well. So sad he was not here to celebrate my grandsons 18th, although he had left him a lovely gift that the others will have also on their 18th, its mot the same. I never thought that he wouldnt be here with us on these special occasions. I have lit a candle for him once again. This year is going to be extremely hard as i now must start sorting things out, keeping some of his things as they mean something to me, but will have to let the rest go. I need to downsize as stairs are now a peoblem and unfortunately wont have room for everything.

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I’m so sorry @Beachgirl. How hard to have the need to part with his things forced upon you too. There is no easy way to do that is there?
Sending you love
Karen xxx

Thank you Karen, ive just beed diagnosed with osteoarthritis which is making stairs difficult So will be needing to move to single level accommodation in the future. Its always hard parting with things as he loved collecting but hated to let things go . There are somethings which i could never part with as he had bought them for me and i have a few things that i bought him. The rest has no sentiment for me as this was his passion but it still feels wrong. As i said the children and grandchildren all have a special gift he saved for them which they will receive on the appropriate birthdays ( grandchildren anyway) my children have already had theirs. They also have a more personal sentiment of their dad, the lads have cufflinks with his thumb prints on, and my daughter a locket containing some of his ashes. Mine is a ring so that wherever i go he is always with me. He might not be here physically but he is with me in spirit and always will be. Life wil never be the same but we carry on, its what we would want them to do if the situation was reversed.
Taje care xxx

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@Beachgirl They sound some lovely momentos of your husband for you all. I intend to buy gold lockets for each of us (myself and two daughters) and put a photo and a lock of Richard’s hair in each. We just haven’t sat looking at them to decide which ones to order.
Yes, we would certainly have wanted them to try and carry on without us and try to enjoy life so we do owe it to them to do the same.
Love
Karen xxx