The first wedding anniversary since I lost my husband 6 months ago is fast approaching. I’m dreading it. Part of me thinks I just want to be on my own that day, but I then think I should be with family. I know my parents won’t want me to be on my own. I don’t know what to do.
I miss him so much.
How do you all get through that day?
I’m so sorry Mel 
I understand how you are feeling right now, I’m dreading the 5th of September, it would have been my wedding day, personally I have decided to go somewhere for the day, a drive to the coast with my dog, just to do something other than sit and feel sad, I think you should be with people that love you,it won’t take the hurt away, but it will distract you just enough to get you through I hope xx
It was our wedding anniversary last week. I don’t think anyone else remembered.
I put the date out of my mind and treated it as just another day. I wished him a happy anniversary when I woke up. Wrote to him in my journal, like every other day. Other than that I tried to distract myself all day. Xx
Our 40th wedding anniversary is in a couple of weeks. My friend has invited me to her husband’s 60th surprise birthday party on that day - she has no idea it is our wedding anniversary. I’m in two minds what to do. They are good friends and I’ll be with other friends too. There’s no point sitting at home feeling miserable but maybe I will be miserable if I go. I don’t want to spoil it for them.
Distraction is all I’ve got at the moment and when I’m not distracted I’m sad and lonely so perhaps I’ll go.
@RedRedRobin If you don’t go, you’ll probably sit at home wondering if you should be there. Why not go, but drive, so that you can escape if you need to? I’ve done that a couple of times, it’s like a safety buffer.
Hi everyone.
Our anniversary was exact a week after the funeral, so 7 weeks after I lost him
I spent the day with one of my Granddaughters. We went to buy a locket that I know Roger wanted me to have, he’d tried to get me one for Christmas but couldn’t. Then we went out for lunch. It was a good day but obviously very sad.
It was certainly better than sitting alone
Had that day two weeks ago, worst day so far I think, all the memories come flowing back with all the emotions coming in waves all day long, this grief is so hard to deal with at times, seems you have so many people around you, but at the same time so alone as you don’t have that special person any more by your side, others talking about their partners and what they doing etc and you have no one really hurts x
Thank you got your replies. I know I’ll miss him when I get there but it’s definitely better than sitting at home. I’m not going to tell anyone there that it’s our anniversary but I will drive there so that I can escape if I need to.
My family and closest friends know it’s our anniversary but they won’t be at this particular event and to be honest I don’t want to sit and think about it with them on that day as I’d be in bits yet again. We can drink a toast to mark the occasion on another day.
I lost my husband 29th February this year. My love went to work and never came home age 54. I am in hell, I don’t know who I am. It was our wedding anniversary on 26th July and 12 days before it I was beside myself with anxiety not knowing what I would do, as my husband and I went away to Tenerife every year for our anniversaries. I did not want to be home as our anniversary of us meeting was also on the 1st August. So, I went to our favourite place in Tenerife with our daughter. It was extremely hard as I had so many wonderful memories and images of my love in my head, however those images and memories are also still extremely painful. I’m glad now that I’d did it, as I feel I may never have gone back if I had not. Our daughter kept me going and it was lovely making new memories albeit bittersweet.
Lots of love to you xx
My goodness @JD8369 - you were so strong to go to Tenerife and it was obviously the right thing for you to do. Thank you for your post. We do have to move forward even when we feel there is no meaningful future without our loved ones.
Take care of yourself xx
@RedRedRobin I am not feeling very strong. I just knew I had to get away. But thank you 
I have had no control over anything since that day. The police came to my door at 13:23. I was on my way out to work as I was on a 14:00-22:00 shift.
I was informed that my love had been involved in an industrial accident at work and he had passed away. I wanted to drive to his place of work, I just wanted to hold his hand for the last time whilst he was still warm. The police parked at the end of my street so I couldn’t leave. My world shattered in that moment. I was then left several hours before being informed that a home office post mortem would be performed after he had lay on his work floor since the accident at 20 to 1 whilst a specialist team safely moved a machine. I was a mess.
I had no say in anything. It was 5 weeks before I could lay him to rest and since then it has been a waiting game, coroners inquest, detectives, forensics, environmental health etc. possible corporate manslaughter?!
Meanwhile, I cannot accept that he’s gone forever. It all feels like a disgusting nightmare and the reality punches me in the face a 100 times a day. I can’t sleep, my appetite is shocking and I’m a nervous wreck most days.
Huge hugs for everyone here, we didn’t ask for any of this. Lots of love xxx
How awful for you.
Iam thinking of you
I send all my best wishes and lots of love and hugs
X x
I’ve had three wedding anniversaries now without my husband, plus anniversaries such as his and my birthdays, the day he died, Christmases etc. What I found was that the lead up was much worse than the actual day. The first year I bought a sapphire eternity ring from his estate money because he died a couple of months after our 45th wedding anniversary and was too unwell to get one. For every anniversary of any sort without him I light a candle and think about him. I never know how I will feel on the day so I try to have something to do and take him with me in my head and in my heart, imagining conversations and trying to live for both of us. Listen to your heart - what does it tell you to do? Getting the balance between living each day and falling into a black hole is hard.
My heart bleeds for you. I’m 6 months in next Thursday and I am a mess, I’ve had my Dave’s birthday, father’s day, our wedding anniversary, our anniversary of the day we met. I’m still stuck on the 29th February when he went to work and never came home. Coroners and investigations and an inquest to face. 6 months in and forever to go!! Your post gives me hope that I will be able to cope and adjust. Sending big love to you.
Love Jen x
@JJBee i bought a Ruby eternity ring because we talked about how we were going to celebrate our 40th anniversary and that was what we were going to do.
I feel so low at the moment. It’s such hard work to keep busy and distracted to avoid facing the hell of it all.
Even my children seem to have moved on and haven’t checked in on me for a while. It feels that that’s it now- I’m expected to move on. I can’t think of a single thing I’m looking forward to. I’m only 63 - I could have another 20 years without him.
I have two signature dates coming up, dates that will be etched on my life for evermore. My first Wedding Anniversary without her at the end of the month and a couple of weeks later the first anniversary of her death.
They have been on my mind for some time anda