Friday is our wedding anniversary, I am feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach, what am I supposed to do. Normally now we’d be chatting and remembering the week leading up to our wedding. I miss my husband so much, the pain feels physical, my heart hurts 
I wonder the same thing about anniversaries.
Don’t think there is an answer to what we are supposed to do. Just possibilities.
There’s no right or wrong way to handle these times, we should do what we choose, not what we think is expected of us.
Personally. I always try to do something totally new and challenging in her memory. I try to make her proud.
Last year I made a date with her, to meet at the top of Mam Tor (a very big hill in the Peak District). I didnt think I could do it, but struggled up in the cold and rain, with her dogs, and had a lovely chat with her. Then off to a local pub for lunch and a pint. Another anniversary I went abseiling, and on another decided to learn to play the flute and booked lessons. I hope she’s proud of me!! Get out there and make some more special memories. Good luck.
My anniversary is 23rd December. When I think of wĥat he would have been proud of me for it is hard to know. Different if was fitter. I used to write him a poem he kept and make him a hand-made card. We would have a meal out. Not sure I will do that. Perhaps could drink a toast to him. Put flowers on his grave. Look at my wedding photos. I used to try on my wedding dress. He would buy me flowers so buy my own.
Hello @Brig1 ,
Thank you for bravely sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling at the moment.
You may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to take a look at our ‘How to cope with death anniversaries’ article.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Abi