Good morning everyone. I am so sorry that some of you are feeling so low; even to the point of not wanting a future. I wish I could post something to make you feel better but everything I try to write just sounds inappropriate and cliched. I loved Alan with all my heart and the house feels very empty without the old rocker in it but I know that my life is in front of me now and I have to live it. A few years ago he was very very ill with covid (4 months in hospital and rehab) and he had to be resuscitated once. At one stage they got to the point of not having any more treatment to offer and he had to find something within himself to fight it. Consequently he was a huge advocate for living life and valuing every moment. He would be devastated if I didn’t carry on in the same way. I also understand that many can’t imagine being with another partner. I know this is probably controversial but I can’t imagine not meeting someone else. I am probably in a very small minority in that! It would be different but that would be good. Life is short and precious. It will never be the same for any of us. Or what we expected. But I hope everyone can find some good in today as well as tomorrow and beyond. Much love x
Feret8.i have two of sues rings on a chain and a tube with a lock of sues hair intertwined with one of mine.also decided i don’t want anyone else.my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue was and is still the only person i want
Exactly, my feelings. Love my wife to bits - she died 6 months ago with cancer. She would be fuming with me if i didnt carry on and enjoy my life. This was some of her last thoughts spoken to me. She made me promise i would meet someone nice, never forget her, and live life to the full and do not let the cancer win and destroy both of our lives. Just over 6 months in and I have met someone. Not easy, and comes with all sorts of thought processess, but i am getting there. Met a lovely woman my age who seems nice, so lets see. Does not detract that i loved my wife dearly and was broken hearted when she died. But life goes on.
That’s brilliant. Good luck to you 
x
@Arvia I agree totally. I lost my husband at the beginning of January this year. He made me promise that I would go on and build myself a life without him. I feel desperately sorry for those who feel that they dont want to carry on. I do!!!
I know its not going to be easy, because Jim was always my support. He was able to mix with people and I was the shy one in his shadow. Im not going to curl in the corner, and fully intend to live a full life. I am actually going to book myself on a painting holiday at the end of the year. My husband would have hated it, so we wouldnt have gone. Im doing it fir me.
I wear my wife Dawn’s ring on my little finger on my right hand. She’s always there. And I find immense comfort in that.
That is a really nice idea! I’m going to think about doing that if it’ll fit, I don’t want to have it resized. Thank you for that suggestion Cubby
Cubby. I,ve done the same thing
I still wear my wedding and my engagement ring
Beautiful words, thank you. Today is 19 months since… my engagement and wedding rings stay where they’ve always been… I have never removed my wedding ring since he put it on my finger on our wedding day. A nurse gave me his wedding ring, during his last few days when I didn’t know I was losing him. She said maybe he doesn’t want to be married, haha! I replied that the ring was probably falling off as he hadn’t eaten in two weeks and he didn’t want to lose it.
I wear it on my middle finger, next door to the rings he gave me. I have never considered that I would remove them.
I accept the word widow, it is who I am now. I still talk about Rob, or “my husband”, as he’s part of me, who I am.
Some people flinch, that’s their problem. I don’t harp on about him, just mention in passing. I have no expectations of being that close to anyone again. I am not nurse material to look after someone older than me. So why would I hook up with another? I may find friends in time for outings, dinners; who knows? For now I’m content as long as I can buy single tickets for theatres. I imagine him approving that I’m being independent, the way he taught me to be in spite of the closeness we always had.
I cry as I write this. My biggest loss is the laughter that’s gone from the house now.
I still wear my wedding ring as I know he wouldn’t want me to take it off I have know intention of meeting anyone else so it’s not a problem we could never replace my husband/father/ grandad he was such a character with a very dry sense of humour and is so terribly missed 
Read this earlier- applies to a few of us here “If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”
Lovely words Pearsos66 you take care
My husband died November 2016
As far as I am concerned I am still married to him, still his wife, still wear my wedding ring. I miss him every day and will do for the rest of my life. Life goes on we know but it’s not easy without the one you loved.
Thank you for your reply ,no one will ever replace my wonderful husband . Also like you i am content with being alone
Yeh. Good luck. I would like to meet someone for friendship because no-one could take the place of my husband but it would help me a lot. I’m 62 and dont want to live the next 20 years with nothing to look forward
That’s what I would like I hate being on my own and I feel like I have nothing to look forward to .
But I would never forget my steve
I definitely have decided that I don’t want to be with anyone else.i had 22years with my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue.dont feel i could have what we together with anyone else
My husband passed away last year and he asked me to wear his wedding ring - I had his and my ring made into one and I now wear it on my middle left finger