My wife passed 5 years ago, the other day I was talking to someone I knew but only in passing, it came up and I said my wife passed away 5 years ago after a couple of years I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy never mind my soulmate. His reply but that’s a wedding ring you are wearing, it upset me to say the least! I took the ring off about a year ago it just didn’t feel right so I put it back on and I’m happy as can be again. Maybe people just don’t think but…
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People who haven’t been through it have this idea that there’s a fixed appropriate period for bereavement and then you just are able to move on.
Until it happens, don’t understand that it changes life forever and there’s no moving on - you live life around it through necessity
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I still have my wedding ring still on. I also have sues wedding ring and eternity ring on chain with a neck tube with a lock of sues hair intertwined with one of mine.as you say unless the have been what we are going through
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Im still wearing my wedding ring. He wore a st christopher on a chain every day, and i have worn it since he passed away. I have no plans to stop.
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I still wear the two rings he gave me and I won’t stop. His wedding ring is with him in his urn. I still have his teeth, toothbrush, and shaver in our bathroom. And I still avoid the word widow if possible. I am still married to my lovely husband. Sending love and hugs.
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I will always wear my wedding band . It’s a symbol of our love and the vows we took .
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Hello @John27, I still wear my wedding ring & my husband’s too so he’s always with me… I’m over 2 years in. Like people have already mentioned, until you have been through it, others have no idea, try & ignore their insensitive comments. Take care
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I wear my wedding ring on the usual finger on the left hand, and my husband’s on my right hand. If people don’t like it, well, that’s their problem. We do what’s best for us to get us through this, don’t we?
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I wear my husbands ring I’m only 5 months in
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I put my husband’s ring on my right hand the day he died, and it’s been there ever since - it’ll be a year in a fortnights time.
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I had to have it resized it was a bit big
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Things that are odd to me since the sudden death of my husband:
The undertaker asked if I wanted his rings back. I was confused. I hadn’t thought about it & realised that in my heart & mind death hadn’t separated us - so I said no, he needed to be buried with his wedding ring on.
The undertaker suggested I may want his eternity ring to keep (engagement ring). I was confused. I asked was it the done thing? I said yes, I would like his eternity ring - they presented it to me on the day of his burial.
After his burial I made time to sit on our bed and looked at his eternity ring. I kept asking myself if I was now a widow did that mean I was no longer married? He was still my husband. I am a married woman. I am a widow. I was confused.
Throughout the last 2+ years since his death I am still his wife. I find my new title of widow disconcertingly confusing. I am still married to him, that’s why I am wearing my wedding ring.
What is confusing to others, who never knew my husband in person, is that I often talk about “my husband”, albeit in the past, which often leads on to questions about my husband in the present. I always fumble, feel a fraud, get tongue tied and feel the impending awkwardness that will come once I say “well actually my husband passed away not so long ago”. I wasn’t lying. I guess the “I-am-married-and-a-widow” combo is confusing.
And another thing about wearing my wedding ring is that I have felt deep indignation and genuine outrage when it has been suggested that I may find someone else or get married again - not because it is inherently wrong for a widowed person to remarry, but because for all intents and purposes I am still married to my albeit deceased husband! It is perhaps confusing, but not for me.
Lastly, and most beautifully, is that several friends and close relations whom I value have kindly said that in their minds they can’t imagine me with anyone else because we came as a complete unit. We were soulmates. We were the right fit for each other. We often said how we each wondered if we would ever find our match in life & love - and we did! Now he’s gone, yet I know what I felt for him I never ever felt for anyone else. I don’t need to. I had him, and because of that I miss him terribly & still catch myself expecting him home any time soon.
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I’m only 4 weeks into this new life but I can’t ever imagine taking off my wedding ring. Karen’s is on my bedside table in a ring box with a photo. I might put it on a chain eventually.
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Hi John 27, my partner of 47 years was taken nearly one year ago. Now the world is a bleak and strange place. I wear a wedding/partner ring no problem - she was my partner in life and remains so in death. Her presence is with me and will always be - amor potentior quam mors est. It helps to remind me who I am - Anne’s partner which is a foundation upon which I can each hour, day or whatever remains.
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I too wear mine, and my husband’s wedding ring. I had to have my husband’s made smaller too.
To start with I wore it on my right hand. But then I had to have some surgery on that hand, so I moved it to my left hand, in between my wedding and engagement rings. It feels so right there. And there it will stay forever.
Dear @paeony my husband also wore a St Christopher’s medal, which I do now.
I also have a necklace, with my husband’s fingerprint on.
When he was in his funeral home, they asked me if I wanted a lock of his hair and his fingerprints.
I have his hair in a box with our puppy’s
( Our puppy came home to us a short 12 days before my husband died) so the box has my husband’s last cut, and what was our puppy’s first cut.
The necklace with his fingerprint, is so beautiful, and really tactile.
It feels like I’m holding his hand, when I touch it.
Love, hugs and strength 
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People can be so insensitive… A couple of months ago someone referred to my late husband as my ‘ex’
I’ve do idea how I didn’t hit them, but they got my full wrath of words!!!
Don’t think they will make that mistake again!!
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@Cathphil 
sometimes I don’t know if it’s done on purpose or if they are really that detached from what it means to lose a partner.
Thinking back, I didn’t fully fathom the magnitude of what it meant to lose a partner, until now, but would never have referred to someone’s deceased partner as their ex
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Hi all,
In taking our vows 50 years ago, the “till death do us part” words were just words you repeated.
But when it happens - -
Knowing you will never see them again is the WORST feeling ever.
Do what’s right for you, when it feels right for you.
G. X
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Hi all- well here we go, I lost my wife to cancer 6 months ago. She lived with cancer for 12 months. Died aged 57. This 12 months gave us time to talk about absolutely everything, life, and death/ not a pleasant conversation but one that we needed to have- she was so brave. I loved her so much- and I would have if possible took the reversed role. I left my ring on for 6 months on my left hand. Now worn on my right hand. She will always be with me. I promised her I would not wallow in self pity and sit at home in a darkened space alone. I promise her I would after a short while try and move on with my life. One she helped me build, not to be destroyed by cancer. Everyone is different I know, but just because I moved my wedding ring does not mean I don’t love or think of her every second of every day. She is still with me. I tell people I am a widower, and was happily married to a wonderful lovely person who was sadly taken by cancer. I will not let cancer destroy my life as well, I was told by my wife before she died. Difficult emotions some times but I am trying.
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