Wedding rings.

To all widows and widowers:

what is your opinion on continuing to wear our wedding rings? I would like to know from those experiencing recent loss as well as those having lost their spouses years ago.

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So my personal opinion is it’s up to you. Sorry not a direct answer but I wore mine until I met someone.
Then I wore it for 6 months until I felt it was to remove it.
In their defence they did not ask me to remove it but it felt right.

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I know technically I’m ā€œlabelledā€ as a widow but in my heart I still consider myself as married to my wonderful husband. I do have a couple of rings that my husband bought me for my wedding finger, but I would never not wear one of them. But I guess we are all different. Obviously if I met somebody else it might change xxx

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I thought a lot about this. I didn’t want it to become a defining moment, as if taking it off in the future was somehow me moving further away from my husband, so sometimes I wear it and sometimes I don’t. I try not to let it be an issue.

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Totally agree , as I say you will know what fills right. For me taking off my wedding ring felt right but it to along time but it was my decision.

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Peaches for me (22 mths down this grief road) I still wear my rings (wedding, engagement & a ring that belonged to him) and will always wear them, because of the job I did I was not permitted to wear the two rings with stones & it was only in retirement I got to wear them permanently so I have no intention of taking them off and finding someone else is not my intention, if that did happen ( which I very much doubt) then that would probably be the time to take them off xxx

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Thank you all for the replies. My wedding band has never been off since my husband slipped it on my finger the moment we married. Just didn’t want to be inappropriate or gauche.

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It’s been 19 months since I lost my angel and I still consider myself ā€˜very married’ to him and personally I find myself playing with it around my finger daily - it reminds me so much of him and us though out our 37 blissful years together - so far I don’t think I will ever take it off X

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Hi. I lost my husband two years ago
I still wear my wedding and engagement rings.

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My lovely husband died in March and I still wear my wedding and engagement rings. I’ve always taken them off for bed and still do and some days I don’t put them on if I’m pottering indoors which, again, is the same as I’ve always done. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I treat them the same as I always did because he’s still my husband, even if he’s not physically here now. xx

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My wedding ring was actually my nanas. Ive worn my wedding ring and my engagement ring for almost 50 years.

Ive been widowed for almost 5 months and I have no intention of taking my rings off. Why would I?

Regards to all x

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I wear mine 4 months after losing my love, and I wear his around my neck on the necklace he bought me a few years ago a Celtic love knot

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It’s a personal opinion, i still wear mine and always will, my lovely wife Sheila passsed away on the 28th of February 2022, and i have Sheila’s wedding ring in her memory box along with other personal belongings, i would strongly recommend a memory box as mine gives me great memories.

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Hello @PeachesDixon

Thank you for posting this question - it is an important one for widows and widowers and one we all face in one way or another.

My husband Tom died nearly 3 years ago. In the last year of his life, it was so awful that we both lost a load of weight. He was in hospital for months, and his ring kept slipping off. He asked me to take it home for safekeeping - which I did. My ring was really loose too, so I took them both off and tucked them hurriedly in a drawer as it was so totally horrible.

Fast forward… he died, we died, it was horrendous. I finally managed to crawl out of the wreckage, an inch at a time. One day, several months later, when I was in the house we shared, I opened the drawer to look for something - and there were the rings. Mine was inside his. As we fitted together perfectly, so did the rings. Separating them was too painful, so I took them to the jewellers where we had bought them about 18 months before. I arranged for them to be fused together, so I wear mine, with Tom’s encircling it.

I wear it on my right hand - as a reminder that I once had absolute true and unconditional love - something I am so lucky to have known and treasured. My wedding ring finger is bare - and as I walk in the early days of a new relationship - it shows that I am open to the possibility of finding love again.

A long answer, sorry, but a solution that has really worked well for me.

Loads of love,

Your friend,

Vancouver

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Hello,
I lost my husband to Cancer 2 and a half years ago aged 51 we were married for 30 years. At first I said I would never take my Wedding ring off the thought of doing that was just too painful. Two years after he passed around the date that it happened I kept looking at my ring on my finger and it just made me feel sad because I knew I wasn’t married anymore so I started to take it off when I was on my own at home to see how I felt. As I had worn my ring for 30 years I had a dent in my finger that looked like something was missing. I decided to put my wedding ring with my husbands in the bag with his which was given to me when he passed so that the rings were together and I keep them on top of his ashes.I had a lovely eternity ring which was bright and sparkly which I only wore on special occasions but I decided I would wear this in place of my wedding ring , when I look at it it makes me smile. I was probably more concerned of what others would think but although I could see people look and see I had taken my ring off, no one really mentioned it. When I did a little research I read that the Egyptians kind of considered an eternity ring as a symbol of never ending love and that the marriage bond would always be so strong even in the event of death. For me this felt like a fitting tribute and I’m happy with my decision. It’s up to the individual to do what is right for them. Whatever makes you happy is all that matters, it’s no one’s business but your own. Hope that helps.

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I am having my husband’s wedding ring resized so I can wear it on my right hand

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That is a great idea.

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My wife’s ring was extended and I wear it on my left hand, and moved mine onto my right hand. It could just as easily be the other way around.

Strangely comforting, it’s something we still share.

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