Like everyone here I dread the weekend. Other people are having family time, fun, cuddles, company. I am sad and lonely and thought about what I can do about it. Of course, what I really want is my husband.
I have tried to fill weekends with visitors but that didn’t help. In fact, although they are people I love, or like very much, after a while I just wanted them to leave. My ears felt assaulted by the constant chatter. It is the same if I go out, it’s okay for an hour but then I want to come home.
It seems I have been yearning for something that I don’t really want. So, today I am trying to remember that just because Society says we should be going out and joining clubs and making new friends this might not be true for everyone. Have we been brainwashed ?
Historically widowed people were expected to mourn for a set period of time. Now we are expected to get out there and make a new life within weeks. I am not saying that I want to wear black and sit behind closed curtains forever. I want to be happy again as soon as possible, but in my own time. For now a certain level of solitude might be beneficial.
I spent this morning putting together a ‘Survival Pack’. The power cut last weekend was a timely reminder. There is no gas supply here. In an accessible cupboard I now have two fully-charged torches, two led rechargeable lights, candles, matches, a butane canister and a little camping stove. I will make sure the car petrol tank is always full, I have a spare mobile phone always charged.
Not exactly rock and roll, but reassuring. Kendal mint cake, anyone?
Xx
@Willow112
Perfectly written I felt the same surrounded with people just noise when all I want to do is scream.
We definitely need to do what’s best for ourselves even if it changes day or by week for what we need from others.
& Well done on getting you’re survival things together sending love and strength 
Maybe add a hot water bottle to your survival kit so you can be cosier in or out of bed. you are very organised but things like that help you to feel safer so you can relax a bit.
Well done! Here in the depths of rural Wales, those are essentials. No gas supply here, either; when the propane gas cylinder (used for cooking) ran out, it took me two weeks to find someone who’d deliver a new one. I’ve started compiling two books; Useful Tradesmen and How To Do Stuff.
Well that might become a best seller 
at least in Wales and Scotland !.
A hot water bottle or two is a good idea. Talking of bottles, perhaps one of Bacardi?
I also have a rechargeable radio.
Xx
Don’t forget the coke or the mint and soda if you want a mohito, you wont need crushed ice LOl.
I used to have a wind up radio…it drove us a bit mad we got it for camping years ago but it only lasted about half an hour and you had to sit there winding the handle for ages.
Ah! But winding the handle would make you feel warm!
Mint would count as a vegetable, wouldn’t it? Chocolate, I should stock up on that. The official advice is tins of sardines and mackerel that don’t need to be cooked. I think I will give them a miss. Cheese, chocolate and Bacardi. A recipe for migraine and spots.
Hey-ho. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do………….
Xx