My husband was Spanish and my family and I went over to Galicia a couple of weeks ago to lay his ashes .A beautiful . meaningful coming together of 2 amazing families who are trying so very hard to help me through this.Thank you for replying .Its good to talk to dear souls who are going through the same as me. x
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Yes itās horrible that overwhelming feeling to cry.It can happen any time anywhere.Its the sillyist of things.Like I found some of his unironed hankies the other day.His razor in the bathroom cupboard.He was a chef.So missing his amazing meals.Although he taught me a lot?We were real homebirds.So I feel his all around indoors.Loved laying out on the sunbed on a nice day,gardening,barbequeing for family and friends.Its so hard.You think you are going to grow old together but thatās not always the case.Its his heart that gave out in the end.A real shock .x
Good morning all. I cried so much yesterday my eyeās itch this morning.My lovely neighbour had me in for a meal last night which cheered me up a little.Slept well because I was so drained.I hope I donāt have too many dayās like yesterday it was just awful.Today is a new day and Iām seeing family .Which will lift my spiritās. Hope you all have a good Sunday and remember you are not on your own.x
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Hi
Sorry to hear you had a tearful day Saturday.
Sounds like you are lucky having neighbours that invite you in for meals, how nice is thatā¦ Lucky having family too I am alone with no family at allā¦
Hope you have a good week xxx
Hope you have a good week too.x
My husband died 11 weeks ago and I now hate weekends. I canāt drive most of my friends are with their families. I hate the warm weather so find I sit and do nothing, not even jobs in the house ā¦ no one will see it.
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Probably be shot for what Iām about to say, but I canāt understand why so many dislike the weekends. To me it is just another day. I do have family but donāt expect them to visit me every weekend, they have their own life. I decided early on that I wasnāt going to be dependent on friends or relatives to keep me company and have made a life for myself where I am becoming used to my own company and even getting to quite like it. I then value my visits even more. I get out and about and certainly not isolated from people but I am equally quite happy to go indoors and be alone. It wasnāt like this at first but it comes in time. So at weekends when I can catch the bus earlier than in the week i plan an outing with my dogs. I would always find something to do even if it was a ride out on the bus, sitting in a park, shopping, gardening anything to break the monotony of just watching TV all day. I do work in my garden although that was hard work at times just remembering the time we worked together.
Please donāt give up on life and get out, even if just for a short time. I know itās not easy for some of you. I am lucky, good bus services, lovely countryside, towns nearby if I want to shop (which I hate actually) and I do have a car if I want to use it.
To sit and do nothing is soul destroying and makes matters worse, so much time to think. I know Iāve been there. Even cleaning out a cupboard(s) can be rewarding.
Good luck to you all.
Hi Liz.
Im having a better weekend.But Iāve spoken to 3 people this week that I hadnāt told about my husband.They were so shocked and one burst into tears which started me off.Its hard having togo through the whole painful experience again.How was your week?
Weekends to me are just another day,i work full time so I use the weekends as doing days set myself just one task a day sometimes big sometimes small. I sometimes donāt speak to people but trying to put myself out there.
Absolutely the silence is deafening, Iām in the same situation the loneliness is unbearable at times not having anyone to share even a cuppa with is soul destroying.
Everyone gets on with their lives after the initial support, thatās life,Iāve reached out to all and donāt want to be a pain but itās so tough, I will get through this but have no idea how . Iām a person that likes being with people I keep busy but am retired so bring on my own is hard. David was enough we did everything together when he was well. His illness came out of the blue this time last year we had no idea and he was so ill so ill so quickly it was 24/7 for 5 months now thereās nothing just nothing, no future I want, but I have to go on and find a happier place, it early days for me he passed on 13th June just before his birthday, Iāve got my anni coming up in a week but plan to be away. Everyone says it will get better in time but itās going through that time totally on your own really which is hard.
Sending you a huge hug x
I totally understand. I lost my husband two and a half years ago and the weekends are the worst. Iām retired my family arenāt really bothered do reach rock bottom at the weekends and sometimes I feel so lonely it physically hurts , but look for the little rays of sunshine they will come when you think its so black you just canāt carry on find something to treasure .
My husband was second time around we had a great life one huge family but that disappeared when he died sadly money Wills etc, my eldest, daughter re married and new partner now husband gradually removed her and my grandkids from my life so I lost that, my other daughter is a career girl always busy no kids so not needed , the one bright thing is my eldest grandson didnāt get on with the new relationship so chose to live with his Dad at the age of 10 heās now 16 I donāt see him much but he and his Dad have been good to me were brilliant when my husband was ill so thatās my one ray of sunshine, together with my cat who seems to know when Iām down. When I started to write this I felt really down but I realised as I was writing and the tears were falling that thereās usually something you can find to hold onto.
Iāve have great friends rather than family that have pulled me through but after a while they think your on your feet your ok, I donāt think until you actually lose your soulmate that you ever understand that longing for them never truly goes you carry it with you and one day the memories will bring comfort but they bring back the loss first, you will get there but even now I feel the loss deeply, but I can now look back on the memories with a smile and realise I was so lucky to have him in my life and hope that the future will eventually be brighter.
Itās tough but hang on in there plan something to look forward to I joined clubs but they werenāt for me but maybe I will try volunteering at animal rescue centre or see if I can garden for free somewhere at the weekend . Life has to go on I hope you find something to get you through its tough good luck and sending love hugs. Xxx
How are things now?I lost my partner 22 weeks ago and I feel just like you didi I still say goodnight to her and good morning.sometimes I donāt think life is worth living
Iād love to say it gets easier but I guess you just learn to live with your loss it becomes part of you,
If you truly love sone and you loose them you will always miss them and the fact that they are no longer by your side.
Your whole world has changed but plan something yon look forward to doing give yourself hope and if you feel like crying let it out itās a release thereās nothing wrong with that. You will have brighter days and you will laugh again but you will always miss them because they are in your heart. Take care 
Thanks for your reply Iām 92 and lived with my partner for 26 years.i canāt really plan anything.i live in Southend and I miss going down the seafront for a coffee etc.its lonely by oneself.She was 99;when she died of Dementia but I had nursed her for many years.She was the centre of my life
Tony
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