weekends on your own after a bereavement

Its now been 22 weeks since Mike died and its hard.
I find it so lonely especially at weekends as I have no family and my friends are all
with their friends which is understandable.
I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself watching the tennis. I have been on my own all day and haven’t seen a sole. I hate weekends, mind you weekdays aren’t alot better these days. It such a lonely life. Is there anyone else out there who feels like me?


Oh yes, Benenden, I wrote on this topic on different threads, and found there are so many others on this site who also find Weekends especially hard. Weekdays I am at work, and often stay overtime so I do not have to go back to being alone with my thoughts.
I lost my Younger Sister to cancer, only a year ago. Both being single, working girls, we were each other’s best friends and soul mates. Sunday was our day to catch up, go out and have fun, and just have “Sister Time”. Now Sunday’s are long, empty hours to fill, when all I want to do is be with her again. Even one of our long, chatty phone conversations would be a gift. I relate to friends being busy and off with their families. If I do not get in touch with them on the weekends, they do not reach out to me. Truth be told, however, the only person I really want to be with, is my Little Sister. The loneliness is debilitating, and I relate to your feelings of emptiness. The only thing I can suggest is getting out, taking a walk, perhaps going to the cinema, strolling about in a craft store…anything to be around people and refocus, if only for a bit, from the loss.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Mike. Not to worry about feeling sorry for yourself. We have a right to all of our feelings in grief. We’ve been robbed of the most precious person in our lives, and that is reason enough to feel as we do.
Take care. Sister2, Xxxx

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Sorry to hear the sad loss of your sister and best friend. Thank you so much for your message. Sounds like you feel sad at weekends too.
You are lucky that you work during the week so you see people. I am now retired, living in a flat and alone with no family. I cant really go walking as I have IBS but would love to.
Funny enough I was feeling quite low tonight then all of a sudden a friend telephoned for a chat which lifted my feelings. Its just so nice to talk to someone when you are alone.
This web site is so helpful and gives me no end of comfort when I get messages such as yours thank you.
Take care and thank you again for taking the bother to message me. Regards Suexx

I think we must all feel lonely. My partner died on the 4th May and I will be returning to work in a couple of weeks which I am dreading. I work every weekend and Fridays so my lonelier times will be in the week. I know it will be awful to return home after work as Alan will not be there. I have family but for all the use they are I might as well not have. I only have a couple of friends as we had each other so didn’t need any. They don’t live very near and neither of them drive. I feel that I would be better off without family because as soon as I think I am starting to cope a little bit better it feels like I get dragged back down, which saddens me. It is awful like you say when you don’t see or hear from anyone in days. From what people say it will slowly start to get better but never go away. I suppose you have to think of it as being your love which will never die and we shouldn’t want it to. They’ll be our loved ones until the day we die. We just have to manage our lives without them as best we can, in whatever way possible. When you do anything you have to tell yourself your doing it for Mike. Sending a big hug from another lonely person. x

Good to read your message, thank you.
Sorry to hear your partner Alan died so recently. Maybe returning to work might be the best thing to do as it may take your mind of things.
I just hope like you that things get better over time, just can’t see it at the moment.
I just exist at the moment from day to day, hate this life.
I hope life gets easier for you and that you grow stronger.
Sending love to you, take care Suex

hello sue thank you for your reply and sending me your love. I’ve had a really low week this week due to family problems who seem to be more of a hindrance than help so it was nice to receive your message to help me back on track. It isn’t always family that makes you feel low lots of other things do, but what really annoys me is when watching tv and they say family this and family that. It really upsets me because we haven’t all got this super family life. Big hug from me to you.

Sorry to hear you have had a low week, me too!!! mine has been lonely as usual.
Sounds like yours has been family connected! and other things. Like you seem to have one problem after another. All the little problems seem to be big problems.
I have been to the dentist this week as my severe stress went to my gums causing severe gum disease. I have just got the feeling back in my mouth after a lot of treatment and four more to go costing me a fortune. Its funny never knew stress could come out in gums heard it could come out in skin and other ways.
Anyway look after yourself keep in touch here iif you need a chat love Suex

hi sue Sorry to hear about the problems you’re having with gums and teeth. Stress can affect you in all sorts of ways. I never really knew what stress was until Alan was taken ill and like you say everything now seems to cause stress. From little things not going right to all the paperwork I’ve had to deal with and still am. It seems never ending. My return to work on Friday didn’t happen as I had taken a down turn but hopefully will start next Friday when I hope i’ll have got myself back on track. Hope your gums don’t give you anymore trouble and we must try and overcome our loneliness (easier said than done) and try to have a stress free week or even day. Take care and thanks for the chat. Hope to hear from you soon. xx

Good to hear from you.
Sounds like you are getting back on track going back to work. That’s good. I wish I had work to focus on. I need something to set my mind too. My house is on the market at the moment and would really like that to sell as it is a headache for me. Its in the country and I just cant go there on my own! just cant face it so I want it to go.
Hope you gave a good week. I hate weekends so lonely.
Anyway take good care xxx.

Hi Benenden,

I too sat on my own watching the tennis - my partner died in his sleep 21 weeks ago and it is now a miserable existence - comdoleces and heartfelt hugs to you xx

It is almost twelve months since my husband died and I still feel as lost as ever without him. Like you, I find weekends the hardest part of the week to get through. I am blessed with some good friends but they are not always available to turn to. I have been told by so many bereaved people that life will get easier, but it will never be the same for me. If I was asked, I would go to be with my husband, today, but my time to do this is obviously not yet. It is the loneliness that is hardest to bear. I try to take comfort in knowing that there are millions of others suffering just like you and I and all of us are struggling to get back some normality in our lives. Taking one day at a time is the best we can do and hope, that one day the sun will again shine on our lives and we can smile and be happy. Thinking of you.

Hi nice to hear from you. You wished you worked and I wished I lived in the country. The only thing is at the minute it wouldn’t seem right for me to sell because Alan did such a lot of work on this house and couldn’t bear at the moment to leave. Isn’t it strange that there must be millions of us coping with grief but do you ever meet anyone that is because I don’t. Hope you get a buyer soon so you can settle somewhere more suited to you. Take care. xx

Hi Wilma D
So sorry to hear about your loss. Its early days for you too.
Do you have family who can comfort you?
Do you work?
I think trying to take your mind off things and doing things helps a bit!
try and be strong here if you need a chat or shoulder, this web site is so comforting
dont know what I would have done without it.
Take good care message any time lots of love Suexxx

Fancy you wanting to live in the country. Do you like the quite then? I hate it. Its bad enough in London I just couldnt stand living in the sticks.
If ever my house gets sold then I may be able to focus on doing something like voluntary work or would love to open another cafe for afternoon tea etc, need to do something hate sitting watching TV… I bet your home is lovely as you said Alan done a lot of work in your home.There are alot of us out there who are suffering from the loss of our partners, husbands etc. I did in fact meet a lovely lady yesterday from this site. I feel so lucky to have met her we had a lovely day. I dont know what I would have done without this site so comforting to know people are out there especially when you are on your own or at a low time. Its great this site.
My house is not my main residence I live in a flat in London so really want to get rid of the house as cant face going there on my own too many memories!
Anyway look after yourself keep messaging Love Suexxx

Hi Sue . Lovely to hear from you again. Yes I’ve always fancied living in the country. I remember when we were on holiday about 30 odd years ago, we went to look at a country cottage for sale in either Devon or Cornwall. It was called Pixie Cottage and Alan said he wouldn’t like to move all that way because of family. I find that very ironic as they’ve never bothered much about us anyway. We’d have probably seen more of them had we moved. Alan has done a lot of work in this house over the years as he loved to try his hand at anything. His passion was woodwork. Last year at 76 years old he put a wooden archway in my garden for me. That was no mean task at his age digging the holes to set it in. He’s also re-upholstered a chaise-longue, an American rocker and a sewing stool I had bought me in the sixties. He loved to try different things. It was nice you met someone from this site and that you had a lovely day. If ever you get that tearoom you will have to let me know then we can have a cuppa together. Take care and we’ll chat again soon. xx

Hi Wilma
Thank you for your message. So sorry to hear about your sad loss,
It is a lonely place ah! hate being on my own, just exist from day to day just hope things improve in time>
Here if you ever need a chat, thats what we do!!! Love Suexxx

I could have written that myself benenden. I watched the tennis on my own. It should have been with my partner who died 20 weeks ago. We did everything together. Weekends are very hard and yes, weekdays not much better. I have no family either and people who said they would support, haven’t. People don’t seem to understand the intensity of it. It is so lonely and I exhaust myself with howling every day. I just long for him to be back here. Life is so empty.

Hello to you all.I am new to this on line conversation but I am hoping talking to others in the same position as me will help me through the grief of losing my amazing,wonderful husband in April this year at only 67yrs old.We celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary last year and knew each other for 47yrs .I have a wonderful family and friends but feel so empty without him.The quiet times are the worst.Sat crying in Costa this morning as it was always something we did every Saturday before shopping.Just could not stop.But you have to cry?Get it out your system.I feel like part of my soul has left me.

Peaceful spot everything you said is exactly how I feel as do all of us on here. My darling Ed was 67 when he died in May this year after a short illness. We only had 10 years together but it felt like a lifetime. We did everything together. I also have a wonderful family and good friends but they are not my Ed. There is nothing can describe the total emptiness and loneliness we feel without our soul mates. I thought I was coping better but the last few weeks I am back to crying and constantly thinking of my pointless future. Weekends are the worst. Everyone seems to be busy doing things with their partners just like Ed and I did of course. I hope it gets easier as I don’t want to cry all the time. But grief is a journey through many mixed emotions and I know I have to travel with it. But this forum is a lifesaver for me and when I need to reach out the people on here are my strength. They will be yours too.
Sending you love and hugs
Liz xx

So sorry to hear of the sad loss of your husband.
I lost mine in January he was 67 too.
Know how you feel about crying in Costa’s.
Its like a wave that comes over me one minute I am ok then start crying.
You are lucky to have family and friends I have friends but no family at all.
There are many of us on this web site who feel exactly like you. Keep messaging and putting down your feelings as I have found this web site a life saver! I found just knowing there are people out there so comforting when I have felt so lonely.
Take good care here if you need a chat xxx