Weekends are the worst to manage right now. During the week I have work to do and other business to take care of, so time feels like passing more quickly.
Of course, time runs always at the same rate, yet we can perceive it differently depending on how busy we are, the amount of light (substantially more during the summer) and whether we have people to talk to.
I am pretty much on my own 24/7 as I work from home, so I rely on friends and family to stay in touch.
I am dreading the temperatures we are going to have in London tomorrow. It may well be that I will spend most of the day in front of my recently purchased fan.
I might be Italian, but I have never liked hot weather, nor did my loved one. He would have hated this.
I am trying to get used to being alone but it will take some doing. One thing that surprised though, is that my next door neighbours are not bothering to check if I am dead or alive! They could knock on the door or phone/text me but they choose not to. They came to the funeral but have since dropped off the radar. If the tables were turned, I would be checking.
No, I agree with you totally about nieghbours. What does it take to just call to see if you need anything or just to check that you are alright? Our nieghbours who we considered more like friends, have not bothered phoning me or any other type of contact since attending my husband’s funeral four months ago. Whereas before my husband died we wern’t in each others pockets but did spend time together on ocassions. More my husband than me. It’s like I have fallen off the face of the earth. It’s very hard being on your own I find. Something I will never get used to. Sending you a hug.x
Loobyloo2 I am so sorry for you and can empathise totally. Mind you, I believe that what goes round comes round, so your neighbours may need your support in the future. Then, you will need to decide how to respond.
That’s one of the things that I find so hurtful. It’s like no one gives a shit. Which I find quite odd, How hard can it be to knock on someones door. And ask if your ok. I know that people know that my mums no longer here.
But talk about no respect for other peoples feelings. Strange world we live in these days.
MarkC I am afraid it is a symptom of the times we live in. It is also down to some people putting a convenient facade on (e.g. coming to a funeral and even giving a short speech) and then not giving a damn (perhaps never actually caring that much to start with).
I asked my neighbours (politely and more than once) to write a tribute for my partner (they knew him longer than I did) to be placed on the dedicated web page and I keep on getting fobbed off with excuses and half apologies. I have now stopped asking. In any case, their words would not mean that much and Andrew deserved better than that (in fact, he has several lovely tributes by people who cared about him).
Bottom line is they are just neighbours. Does what they do or not do matter? Not much although it is irksome.
I thought I would miss having them as neighbours if I moved, which is the plan, but I do not think I will.
We moved into our house 40,years ago.
I’m trying hard to think in the last 17months , how many neighbours have checked on me.
I find it very disrespectful, initially hurt by it - considering they weren’t shy in asking hubby to do small jobs for them or could they borrow.
One day the boot will be on the other foot —
Nought as queer as folk.
G. X
I have reached the conclusion that ‘when good neighbours become good friends’ belongs to Australian soap operas and has little place in actual reality.
I have clients that care about me more than my neighbours do. And that says a lot!
Hi @SSTC22, I understand what you mean about these ‘false’ neighbours. One of mine promised to come round and have a chat. That was nearly a year ago, she hasn’t visited yet, just the usual wave when passing each other driving.
I’m Italian too, I live in Southern Italy, but I’m an ex Londoner, was born and grew up there. You’re right about not being too keen on hot weather, I’m not coping very well with our 40 degrees heatwave. As you probably know, we could end up having at least two months of this.
I’m lucky, I think. My new neighbour met my husband only once; when he was already visibly ill. She’s lovely, and has called a few times to see if I’m ok. I wish she could have known him healthy and at his best because he was the nicest man. I was told by the funeral director that there was around 130 people at the funeral, many standing outside the chapel. I just have a blurry memory of the cars driving between these lines of people dressed in black as we arrived. So surreal.
My immediate neighbour used to be always round our house talking to my husband before he died, now it’s just hello in passing.
But a lady that lives up the road from me that I didn’t really know much before, has constantly called round, text and invited me out. We have become good friend, you can never tell people’s reactions.
Debbie X
Now eighteen months since my husband died. Finding life harder now. My son who lives locally spares me half an hour a week, my other son lives three hours away get to see him three times a year. My neighbour has been amazing but I feel extremely lonely.
Carole2 have you heard of Meetup? I go to their groups, I sort of force myself to so that I am being sociable.
I enjoy them mostly, sometimes there are folk I don’t click with but the alternative of sitting in and being lonely doesn’t appeal to me, I’ve been there and done that!
