Well meaning people

Recently I had a relative my aunty say to me and my dad isn’t it time we get over losing my mum. Whilst my dad isn’t one for saying what he thinks I am completely different I went to my aunties house to point out that while she maybe a well meaning person she firstly had no right to say that to us on account she’s not experienced grief in its rawest form. She is my dad’s adopted sister. I thought better of her to open her mouth and not at least be compassionate and understanding even show some respect and empathy for what my dad and I have been through. I pointed out to aunty she was close to my mum and if she must be completely brainless to make that pathetic remark. She got upset. I said to her try and imagine how my dad and I must be feeling. We are heartbroken and devastated oh but you’re not because you haven’t lost a relative. As far as I’m concerned you are no longer my aunty. Tue woman was in tears but you have done it to yourself.
I am so angry with her for making that ridiculous hurtful remark

I was told to do something fun from my list of chores i gave myself…i lost my husband in January and she is one of my oldest friends

Hi sorry to hear of your loss
Well I wouldn’t minded being told to do list of chores by my aunty
But to come out with her crass remarks beggars belief

Sorry i made the list of chores because i found myself doing nothing all day…she told me to add something fun to my list

Oh ok I get you

At the beginning of my journey, I was very grateful for people who wanted to support and encourage me. Sometimes they got it wrong, maybe I wasn’t ready to hear what they say at that time. I get things wrong and say the wrong thing, I do it all the time.
But I try never to hold grudges and anger, the person that hurts is mainly me.

A therapist once asked me “Just because someone hits you over the head with a stick, why then would you pick up that stick and hit yourself over the head with it”.

All I used to get was a sore head on top of the anger.

Being forgiving is a much happier place. It takes time and effort to get there, but it’s worth it!

The way I see it is people who maybe well meaning should engage brain before opening their mouths. It’s not hard to do when someone has lost someone close.
I see it and hear it a lot. All people are doing is upsetting that person.

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I’ve had some people say some things, too, that have really hurt me. It’s as if they just don’t get it, and they really don’t. And, it’s hard because it’s one more thing to deal with on top of the grief.