What do I do know? 18 and 0 direction

I’m 18 years old and I lost my mum on 12th last month. I’m doing my first year at uni and I’m finding it really hard coping. I have no friends here and my family are always too busy to talk. I just don’t know what to do. I know its only been a month but it’s like I’m just all by myself up here. Should I go home? Leave uni? reach out for help? I just don’t know and I cant deal with it all

1 Like

I’m not surprised you are finding it hard. Try and find out where the student welfare officer is based and get an appointment to speak to someone in the department. They should be well versed in helping you or maybe have a referral system. I would do that as soon as possible as you want to be able to deal with the rigours of the course as well as just functioning.

Hi Imogen. My daughter went into fourth year of uni but her Dad (my beloved husband Steve) was admitted to hospital in October with a chest infection and sadly passed away on November 2nd. She went to the Student Welfare office as previously mentioned by YorkshireLad1950, and has now deferred this year and will re-take her fourth year next September. It is called an interruption of studies and you keep your student status (matriculation card, gym membership etc). She is glad she did this, but it was her fourth year and a dissertation was on the horizon and she was worried she would submit a substandard dissertation and not get the degree that she knows she is capable of. So, this might not be the path for you to take, but please go and speak to the uni as they are used to students being upset and distressed and needing guidance. Sending you hugs, June

Hi Imogen. . Get some counselling , have a word with the university , or St Helens Hospice do it as do others and it will probably be free . Dont try and deal with this on your own , it’s too much to handle .It helped me when my son died . My own dad died when I was 17 , many years ago now and counselling wasn’t available to anything like the extent that it is now and like you , I felt very alone, confused and didn’t know what to do . Don’t do anything in haste . Reckon your mum would want you to carry on with your degree and being mentally occupied in my experience, is much much better than having too much time on your hands when your brain may take you in all sorts of distressing directions . Paul

Back to top