What do I do now

I lost my darling pauline my soulmate the love of my life on the 14th April her funeral was on 14th of May I have been struggling ever since I lost her but was focusing on her funeral now thats done I don’t know what to do I don’t want this life without my pauline I’m so empty all I do is cry everywhere I look I see her every second of the day and night she is all I think about I’m trying to go on for her and our pets but I really don’t want to I don’t know how to live without her all I have done today is cry I can’t seem to stop I just want to hold her my life has no meaning or purpose without her life just sucks and I hate the way it is now I look at my pets and I have so much love for them I tell myself I can’t do anything stupid and I can’t let pauline down but I don’t know if I can keep on going it’s like the other half of me is missing the better half she was such a wonderful beautiful woman i love you baby you are my heart and soul I miss you so much

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@Casey1
So sorry for your loss.
I cried all day everyday in the first 6 weeks, we have to take a day at a time, or hour at a time. I was really bad after my Martin’s funeral.
I still cry everyday.
I get out of the house for a walk on some days or go town and window shop, I’m looking at volunteering as I need to keep busy.
Have you considered counselling.
I’ve telephoned Samaritans on my dark days, talking makes me feel a little better.
Grief is an exhausting journey. Your not alone in your pain we all understand on here. Keep posting as people on hete are so lovely
Sending you hugs
Amy x

@Amylost thankyou I am very sorry for your loss I have done nothing but cry since losing her I just can’t seem to pull myself together today I have called the samarations a few times since I lost pauline

@Casey1

You and others on here have had the most traumatic experience we have to go through in our lives.
Be kind to yourself, cry for as long as you need to.
My thoughts are with you.
Amy x

Dear Casey1, so sorry for your loss you are not alone, it is unbearable and early days for you.
It is normal for you to feel like this I don`t know if you work, we need to be distracted but I find it difficult, I still think of my husband every minute of the day. I wish I could give you some comfort but like you, I am really struggling I have a permanent knot in my stomach and wish it was me that left as I know my husband would have coped much better with this pain, he would be a lot more motivated and getting things done, I just about breathe.

Take care of yourself.

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@Casey1 there seems to be a massive down for us all after the funeral. I think that gives us focus, and then it is a case of okay the funeral has happened, what now?
I am glad you have your pets to look after, hopefully that will help give you motivation to go out for walks. You have been through trauma so you also need to rest a lot too. It is a hard road we are all having to travel, but you are not alone, we are travelling with you. X

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@Wong thankyou wong that means a lot

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@Amylost thankyou Amy I appreciate all the support I am getting on here

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@jack10 I am so very sorry for your loss and thankyou I’m not working so at home most of the time its just so cold and lonely here without pauline but I can’t change that no matter how much I want to

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Oh Casey 1, thank you so much for adding me in to your post, I do not want to be negative and none of use can change what has happened, I just want to let you know that you are not alone with your pain. You are a wonderful person, be proud of your self you give Pauline a perfect life while you were together.

Its hard I know, you will ! as time passes you have your happy memories of Pauline and they will help you to get through the future so you can heal.

Hugs Helena

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@jack10 helena thankyou your words are very kind sorry for the late reply I went out with our dog cara I needed to get out of the flat for a few hours I’m sorry for all of us that are going through this heartache but I will try to do my best by pauline its all I can do for her now

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